Lately at the Minders...

Just in case I ever forget what it was like to have 3 children ages, 4, 6, and 7....

The other day Colt decided to go pee in the garage...because he wanted to see if he could aim in a container He missed.

Easton pooped outside in our backyard. He ran out of the house to do so. "Because he needed to go real bad."

Colt thought that it was acceptable to sing "cheers to beer" with a friend at lunch...at school.

Hayden and Colton started BSF for the school year, which means every Monday after school they go to mom's for the ENTIRE night, leaving us with ONE child. It was weird, but such a blessing to spend that time with our youngest.

Apparently you can get fined if you redo your roof without a permit...and for having a dumpster without a permit. Who knew?

Hayden cried today because no one would stop and buy stickers from her as she stood at the end of our driveway with a small sign that said "50 cents". However, Colt tried to help with sales by playing a guitar for the world to hear.

But there are also these times...

Hayden is finally at an age where help from her is appreciated. Her heart is SO big and she loves to serve. She makes all 3 lunches each night and loves to do it. It may take her an hour to do so, but she does it with joy.

Colton and Hayden were talking about BSF yesterday and Colt beamed with joy as he said, "mom, I just am so excited to go to BSF!" I pray his heart is always that ready to go learn about God.

Because we had only Easton Monday night, he had ALL our attention. And he loved it. We played basketball and played games. It was just us 3. Sometimes I forget how little he is. How he is still so young and how different he is from his sister and brother. I sometimes forget he is his own person. And man do I love that little guy.

This life is crazy. But I never want to forget these little things, even if that particular day I do wish I could forget:) God has entrusted Nic and I with these three amazing, crazy, spirited kids and I pray every day He will use Nic and I to mold them to be more like God. They they will love each other and love people and love God. I want them to strive to live for Him and to do what pleases him.  Not because Nic and I want that, but because they want that. I am learning, slowly, how to depend more and more on Him, and less on myself in this whole parenting thing. But man is it a SLOW process and one that I continually have to work on.

Little Bit of Everything

It is Friday night...which means...I AM STILL ALIVE AND WE MADE IT ANOTHER WEEK!! 

I can't tell you the mix of emotions that ran through me in just one week...everything from sheer excitement of meeting the new students to completely melting down from exhaustion, and everything in between. But, I blame it on my "monthly monster":) 

I want to thank you for those of you that have prayed for me this week...you absolutely have no idea what it meant to me when I received different emails and messages saying you would pray. God is good. We are figuring everything out with schedules and trying to balance everything...and I just have to tell you that my husband is THE best in the WHOLE world. He has been wonderful through this whole change and has completely stepped in with all the house chores and even let me take a "me" time yesterday when I thought I was just going to lose it after coming home from work and having 2 screaming children at the same time. 

This post is going to be ALL over the place, but that is me right now...so take it or leave it.

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Rundown of the week: (if you care):

I tried my first Zumba class this week with Tara. Can I just say I NEVER knew someone's hips could move like that? I seriously wonder if they hide cameras in the room and watch as people like me make a total FOOL of themselves. BUT it was soooo fun, despite my inability to move like that stinkin' instructor. Seriously....couldn't believe it. Please don't think I am weird. If you haven't tried Zumba yet...do it. It will make me feel better knowing there are others out there like me that put themselves out there to look like an idiot:)

Last night, Tara hosted a "Matilda Jane" party. If you haven't heard or seen this little girl clothing line, DO IT! So different but SO adorable and unique. 

Tonight, it was date night. Well...for Colt, Hayd, and I. Nic had to work the Jimtown/Concord game. I decided to take the kids to see him for a little bit at the game since he hadn't seen them all day. After that, the three of us went to McDonald's for some "creamy" (ice cream). The kids thought it was the best thing EVER. Ha...the things that make them happy. We then came home, played, and cuddled while watching Ramona and Beezus...for the 104th time this week. 

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This last week I am seen such a difference in Hayden. I was watching her tonight and just realized how MUCH she is growing up and how much she is changing. I was listening to her sing to her music in the car and couldn't help but tear up as I looked in the rear view mirror and realized she will be THREE next month. How did that happen so fast? I won't say a whole lot because I will be writing her birthday letter soon, but I just wanted to share a few things:

-She loves playing with her doll...taking care of her, feeding her, changing her. It is the sweetest thing watching her rock her baby so carefully and pat the baby's bottom saying, "shhh shh shh."

-She has become quite the daddy's girl. She goes absolutely crazy when he walks through the door and totally lights up. She loves him...and I love that.

-We have been reading her a little devotional for kids that my mom had gotten her. We read it every night before going to bed and praying. The other night I totally forgot and right before I tucked her in, she said, "read to me, momma. Read from Jesus." It was quite precious.

-Last night when we were in the car coming home, I totally broke down. I was trying to hide it and turned the music up. I thought I did well until Nic came home and Hayden totally ratted me up by saying, "mommy was cryin' in the car, dad." Thanks, Hayden.

-She has become obsessed with "Hannah's House" and loves going to her house to see "Teve." And then talks about it on the way home.

-She LOVES telling me about her day when I get home. It is amazing what she can remember. 

-I made the mistake of telling Hayden about her party, and now she asks when her party is going to be every day. And asks for her cake.

Colton has also been changing before my eyes. He is quite the character. Just like I can't believe Hayd will be 3, he will be 1 1/2. Wow. My baby boy. And by boy, I mean ALL boy! Here are some things on him:

-He usually has a ball of some sort in his hand at ALL times. He loves throwing those balls as well, and he CAN THROW! If he is not playing with balls, he is either trying to jump off couches or anything he can, or torturing his sister. Little pistol. 

-He is such a happy boy and flirts like crazy! He thinks he is soooo funny:) 

-One of my favorite things that he does right now is when he is tired, he will get his sippy cup AND blanket, and lay right down on the floor, wherever he is. I am also loving how he cuddles right when he wakes up. I will never get tired of that. 

-He is also talking A TON! His favorite words for this week are "I tuck (stuck)", "milk", and "pease (please)".

I wish I had some pictures to post on here, but that has been the last thing on my mind:) I will have some my next post!

Have a fabulous weekend y'all! 

I am Loving...

Some things I am loving right now...

-having both kiddos by my side, reading together

-watching movies with my husband after the kids go to bed

-having an empty laundry basket because that means the laundry is all kept up

-driving home from school knowing that I don't have to stress over anything the rest of the night:)

-walking into the house at 4:00 and having both the kids run into my arms

-waking up with my babies...and seeing their smiles

-the hugs that I am getting from children...even the ones I haven't even met yet

-the stage that both of the kids are in...Hayden is talking nonstop and just growing into a beautiful young lady. Colt is talking as well and starting to be able to communicate so much more.

-learning to bake and cook different recipes I haven't tried before

-planning Hayden's birthday party

Those are just some of the things that have been really special to me these past few weeks so I thought I would share. 

Just a little update on the whole job...I promise I will not always be talking about it, but I just want to record how it is going once in awhile. I am absolutely loving getting to know the children and working with them closely. My prayer every day that I walk through those doors is that I would be a light to those that I come in contact with throughout the day. Because I am a para, I only have to be there when the children are so I don't go in until 9 and leave at the same time as the kiddos. I have now met all but one of my Extreme Reading groups. I have 4 different groups that I will be meeting with 4/5 days a week...1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade. During the times that I am not with those groups, I am helping in different classrooms, working with a couple of children at a time. I am starting to get the hang of things and what is expected out of me. I am known to everyone as the Resource Officer's wife:) One of the major things I love about this job is that as soon as I leave the building, there is nothing I take home with me, and I don't have any other stuff to stress over. If you know me, and you have known what has happened in the last year, you know that the whole stress thing was huge for me. 

When I wake up each morning, I know I have 2 choices: to dread going to work, knowing that I am leaving my babies and missing out on different "mom" things, OR thanking God for the opportunity He has presented to me and pray that I will make an impact on the children I meet with, or even just see in the halls. Yes, it is still hard to walk out the front door in the morning, but I know that Hayden and Colton are getting loved on by their grandmas. 

Ok, I must get off of this and return to my house duties before bed:) Goodnight everyone!!!!

One of THOSE days

Is it bedtime yet? The clock is telling me one thing and my children are telling me a different thing. Wowzers has it just been "one of those days!" Not a bad day, or a pull-out-my-hair day....just one-of-those-days.
You know, the kind where your child cries for her daddy, grandma, and even her aunt all morning...forgetting that you have been with her the last 48 hours straight and taking care of her every need being her playmate.
OR the kind where your son thinks he is helping you by "sweeping" with the broom, but in all reality he is hitting his sister with his every move because it is about 3 feet taller than him and knocking over anything that is on a desk, table, or end table that he goes by.
OR the kind where your daughter comes in looking so proud saying, "mom, I peed o'er there!" while pointing to the bathroom and when you go look you almost fall on your butt because she meant "over there on the floor" and now she has created a slip-in-slide in the hallway.
OR the kind where your dog thinks it would make your day by taking a squat on your just-shampooed carpet after being outside for about an hour...seriously?
OR the kind where you make your CLEAN bed and can't figure out why there are chocolate handprints all over the side of the bedspread but then find your son with an Oreo in his hand.
OR the kind where you are SO proud of yourself for making a new recipe for dinner, only to find out that you forgot the 3 cloves of garlic that took you 15 minutes to mince is sitting on the counter and your chicken is already in the oven.
OR the kind where you are so busy typing this blog post and look up to see this...

Although it was "one of those" days, I am thankful for every second I got to spend with my babies and wouldn't trade a second of it:)
Here is something to make you smile:

A Park, A Meal, and A Lawn

Boy, today was quite a day. Not because it was busy busy busy, but it was just...a day. A good day, a crazy day, a day of a first (I will get back to that later).
Last night Nic, the kids, and I went to Chili's with my parents and Sarah for our last dinner together before she leaves us for college...boo:( After dinner, which, I have decided I am no longer going out to eat with both kids until they are 10 years old, Sarah came back to our house and spent the night. I am going to miss that.
Anyways, my kids so happily woke their Aunt Rara up by being their loud selves. I think she wasn't ready to get up:) But, we got ready and parted ways as Rara went home and the kids and I headed to Tara's house. We were wanting to take all four kids somewhere fun, and of course, free. The Splash Park thingy in Elkhart doesn't open until 1 pm, so we decided to do something in Mishawaka. As we were driving, we came across a little water splash thing next to Twin Branch. It was a great little park containing the splash pad, picnic tables, and a little playground. Lemme tell ya, the kids LOVED the water!! I couldn't believe how Colton and Hayden were jumping through the water like they did. I think since they watched Alex enjoying it so much, they knew they would be just fine! Hannah wasn't sure about it at first, but she eventually warmed up. She never cried or anything, she just kept walking away, which was cracking me up! After awhile, we ate our little packed lunches and played on the playground for a little bit before returning to the water. The kids were all perfect and it was just the perfect early afternoon activity. The best part was that it wore the kids out and had a GREAT, LONG nap! (I have little videos, but the recorder thing is in the car and Nic took the car.
I knew things had to get done, like the never ending laundry and dishes, so I did one load and then the dishes (I REALLY miss my dishwasher...like REALLY!!!). While waiting for the laundry to get done, I decided that I was going to try to do YOGA...this is where you can laugh at me. I honestly wish I could have video taped me doing this because I will tell ya this, I was NOT made to do yoga. I think I was falling on the ground more than being in one of those positions...like the upward dog and downward dog, and those other funny names. After about 25 minutes of that, I was done, done, done. Especially after I did something to the muscle behind my leg. Ha. Let's just say I am in a lot of pain right now:)
When the kids woke up, we played, read books, chased each other around the house, of course had to drag all toys out of the playroom and throw them throughout the house, and played some more.
Now, this next little blabbling part is something I have been thinking about doing for a long time. It has taken planning, research, and just a lot of time. A long time ago, I read one of my friend's blogs about freezer cooking. She made meals for a whole month and then would freeze them. I always thought that was such a great idea, but didn't think I would ever have the dedication. Plus, I don't know how to cook a whole lot of meals. But, the more I have been thinking about it, the more I have come to want to do it more and more.
Soooo...the past couple of weeks I have been researching how to freeze different kinds of foods and what foods freeze the best. I also researched different websites with freezer cooking recipes. Of course, I had to find the easiest recipes that consisted of simple ingredients:) Cause that's how I roll! I came across this awesome website where I got most of my recipes. I also got a lot of recipes from Kelsey's blog from above.
Ok, so back to my point, I knew that I wasn't going to get a WHOLE day to cook like most people advise, so I thought I would split it up. Tonight I started making some meals to freeze while making dinner as well. Of course, I had the help of my kiddos so it was quite the task. BUT I did get 2 meals done and put one in the freezer and one in the fridge for tomorrow night. I know, I know, nowhere near the whole months worth of meals...oh well!
Nic was finally home in time for dinner. We ate, and then he left again for softball games. And that is when I looked at my kitchen. Seriously? All that for about 15 minutes? At this point, I am almost in tears missing my dishwasher again. Oh well! So as I hosed my kids down from dinner and cleaned all the dishes, we headed for the bath....because...well...Colton was covered in his meal:)
Colt went down pretty early, so Hayden and I went outside and I thought I would do something I have never done before...mow the lawn. Wait, I have mowed before, when I was younger. It was my first and last time because my dad didn't like the designs in the yard. Anyways, the yard was starting to look like a jungle and I knew Nic wouldn't be able to do it tomorrow or during the weekend, so I thought I would give it a whirl. Not only am I sitting here with a hurting leg, but my shoulders hurt, my elbow hurts, and I have blisters on my hand. Wanna know why??? I didn't know until I was halfway done that there was a lever I could pull where it became self-propelled. I know, I am retarded. But hey, the yard is done, not very straight, but it is done.
That, my friends, is a huge accomplishment for me:)
Ok, now that I went on and on, I must go to sleep. I might be sore tomorrow:)

Don't even know what to label this!

Ok, so is it bad that I am gaining great anxiety over the fact that I haven't blogged for almost a week and afraid if I don't do it this second, I am going to forget everything that has happened in the past week? Goodness gracious!

Not that any of you care about the little trivial happenings around here, but I do:)

So...here it goes. I didn't write about this last week because, well, it was a busy week. You see, my other half, Nic, left for the entire week for the SRO school that was 2 1/2 hours away. I didn't write about it because frankly I don't know who the heck reads this and I didn't want any creepers to know that he was gone at the time. Anyways, it was just me and my babies for the week....and the dog. But we survived and I had amazing bonding times with both my children...complete with doing crafts with Hayden (painting frames and then making creations with scrap paper to frame), completely moving around both the kids' rooms (thanks to Reagan and Taryn), lots of snuggle time with Hayden since we are trying to get over the whole "scared of the room" thing, lots of laughs, many trips to McDonald's for their ice cream cones, trips to my parents (thank you for everything by the way!!), and many more memories. We certainly did miss the man of the house though. Hayden would break down in tears at times screaming for "DADDY!!!!" Nights were long thinking that EVERY sound was someone trying to break in and steal us. But, no one did! That is a good thing for Nic:) I definitely missed my best friend. I missed just being with him.

Then Friday finally came...it was a little hectic now that I think about it. I had all 7 kids until 1:30. At that time 3 of them left, so 4 remained. I packed all 4 in the car, headed to my parents, played with the kids awhile there, kissed my babies goodbye, left them with their grandparents (where they stayed the entire weekend), packed up the last 2 children, headed back home, waited for their mom to pull in, watched Nic and their mom pull in the exact same time, said goodbye to the 2 girls, packed up the car for our car trip, and left for our supposed to be 4 hours, which was only 3 hours:)

Nic's softball team played at the State Tournament this weekend in Bloomington. Everyone got there Friday night and just hung out since the tourney didn't start until Saturday. We hung out outside the hotel and played cards, washers, and just talked. Saturday we got to sleep in (well, us wives anyways). It was so weird because all summer we have all been hit and miss at the games because we all have kids. In case you don't know what that means, it means that we don't ever get to really talk or watch the games. This weekend, there were NO kids...can you say "wha????" Back to sleeping in...it was wonderful. When we were all ready, us wives headed out to the games...they won their first which have us a couple hours to relax. We grilled out in the parking lot and then the wives headed back to lay by the pool for awhile. It was a great time to just really get to know them a little more even though some of them I have known before marriage and before kids. Ok, enough rambling. We headed back to the games, which we were late to AGAIN. I forget how the rest of the games played out but I know they lost their next one and then won a whole bunch of them before losing the last game of the day:( It was a long day, but fun. We did plan on all going out to eat at a nice restaurant but by the time we all got back and showered it was around 9:30 and so we ended up some place that we sat outside and got rained on:)

We stayed up super late hanging out and playing cards but we got to sleep in on Sunday!! It was a wonderful weekend with my hubby and I am so thankful for that time to get away, even if there was softball involved!

Mom and dad-THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for taking such amazing care of my babies!!! You are amazing and I am just so grateful for you! I know that the kids absolutely adore you, Tissy, and Rara!!!

After getting ready on Sunday morning, we headed back to our kiddies. My parents' friends let our family use their house for the entire week, which happens to be on our favorite lake, so that is where we headed!! It is such a beautiful house and they are such gracious people! We spent the evening playing cards and spending time outside. There is just something about a lake that is just so relaxing.

We headed home when bedtime was coming....BUT we were right back here in the morning!!! My lucky mom and dad!! 

I only had 2 extra kids today so I just brought them up. They had a blast and I am worn out! Random insert-Colton and Hayden all of the sudden broke out in all these dots, in which my dad diagnosed as Rosiola (don't know spelling). I thought they were chicken pox but I guess they aren't. They are covered from head to toe in these red dots....poor babies. They don't seemed bothered by it though. It was a beautiful day so we were outside the entire day. Grandma was here for the day, which was a blessing! Tara and Steve came up for the evening for a cookout and some INSANE wave runner time complete with a bonfire. Let's just say I made myself completely sick! All worth it though.

Ok, these blabberings are getting out of hand I believe because it is 11 at night and I am WORN out! Just wanted to record everything before I forgot!!

I admit it...I am CRAZY:)

Today I realized something. I am crazy. I like my house clean and picked up. I like every toy in it's place...in the right basket or cubby or bin so it fits perfectly (I know that is insane because they are toys...meant to be played with). I like my family room clear of toys. I can't stand to have the dryer full of clean clothes for long periods of time....but I can't stand to fold them and have them sit anywhere either...but I can't find the time to be constantly putting laundry away. I like the kids bedrooms spotless. I like Hayden's books put away according to the size of the book. I like my dishes clean and put away. I like our dresser and hope chest completely cleared off except for the lamp and little box thingy my brother and sis-in-law got us. I like looking out a window...a clear, clean window. I like clean toilets...that are flushed. I like my closets organized. I like my kleenex box to contain kleenex.
This crazy OCD thing, or whatever it is causes great anxiety within me and I start to panic watching all these things not keeping up to my expectation especially with having up to 8 kids to help this panic set in.
Like...
Going into the bathroom to see my son has thrown the whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet and then looking the other side of him only to notice that my daughter tried emptying her own toddler toilet but didn't make it into the big toilet, which results in poop and pee all over the floor.
OR
Walking into Hayden's room to see that the nice, neat books are now spread over the floor as well as EVERY blanket pulled from the drawer, and every piece of clothing from the lower half of her closet now spread on the floor with hangers thrown every which way because heaven forbid she stay in the one outfit that she had on at the beginning of the day.
OR
Noticing the spilled milk/juice on the "just swept" kitchen floor as well as dog hair flying across the floor  that now is sticking to the floor because of the juice.
OR
Finding that the play doh that is definitely now stuck into the area rug.
OR
Seeing handprints/footprints/faceprints that are now smeared over every window, door, TV, or anything that is touched.
OR
Looking at the folded clothes that have not found their homes for going on 4 days and are just sitting in the hamper, on the dresser, or on the bed.
OR
Walking by the playroom to see that EVERY toy is out of the basket, bin, cubby and is covering every square inch of the playroom.
But I have also realized something. If I keep going at the pace I am doing what I am doing, I am going to miss out. I am going to miss out on spending time with my babies, I need to take every single moment and remember it. Not a memory that brings on the stinkin' anxiety that makes me want to cry, but as a memory that made my children smile. Although I want to just scream and go around picking up every single thing that is out of place, I need to just relax and take those moments to enjoy WITH them. Those little footprints, faceprints, fingerprints won't always be there....I need to remember those little smudges. Instead of watching every toy being brought out to play with, I need to just sit with them and play with them, and then use it as a learning time to show how to clean up with their toys when they are finished. Instead of going crazy making sure everything is spotless, I need to just hold my babies and love on them. Because the truth is, my house will never be clean or spotless for another 18 years or so why panic over it?  It's amazing how time and children change things...in a good way:):)
My babies are only going to be this little for so long. I want to take every moment and cherish it...every smile, giggle, everything. But I need this panic stuff to go away:) So here is my first step-instead of picking up all the misplaced toys right now, I am going to snuggle with my sleeping baby girl that is laying on my lap! Goodnight!

Blog Block...So this is what you get!

So I have been trying to figure out what to blog and I think I am having a blog block. I usually update with family things, but to tell you the truth, nothing really has happened. I know, I know, how interesting are we? Well, pretty uneventful:) Some may say boring, I say uneventful! But sometimes that is just what some families need. A little bit of uneventful-ness, or boring-ness. I do know that I am going to need to leave this "boring-ness" soon or I am going to go CRAZY! If you were to walk in my shoes for one day, you wouldn't think it was too boring. You know, running after kids, answering a MILLION questions (sometimes not even understanding the question), changing diapers, cleaning out toddler toilets, dancing and singing your heart out to see a smile, picking up toy after toy only to find that it is just wasting time, feeding meal after meal even while waiting patiently for every bite to be eaten (or at least anything eaten), vacuuming at least 2 times only to notice that the snack you gave ended up crumbled underneath the coffee table, reading at least 13 books that you know by heart just from reading them SO much, carrying on conversation with a 2 year old finding that as your only intelligent conversation all day, burning food because you forgot that you were trying to cook anything...BUT then I stop and THINK...UMM HELLO! Every mom goes through this and I have ONLY 2 kids...well up to 5 kids some days...so then I remind myself to shut up and move on in life because no one cares about the mommy things I do throughout the day. Why? Because it is normal to any mom...so therefore boring to readers:) However, I would never trade one second of my days!
Have I thoroughly confused you yet?
Here is a little recap of this week's uneventfulness-
*Colt came down with a bug last week-It started out as just whininess during the morning, early nap that lasted until 4 when I had to wake the poor fellow up to leave, then throwing up ALL over the car on the way to Mamaw's house. Congratulations, Mamaw, you got a sick kid for the evening...sorry:) He ended up having a fever of almost  103 degrees from 4 pm Thursday until sometime in the afternoon on Friday. I know this is going to sound horrible, but the best part about my buddy being sick is how completely cuddly he is. I ended up sleeping on the recliner with my baby in my arms because ever time I laid him down, his stomach made the weirdest sounds and I really didn't want to clean up puke again. He is completely all better now and back to his chipper ole' self.
*Since Colt loves to share, he gave this wonderful bug to his sister. Hayden came down with a high fever Saturday night and had it throughout Sunday. There were no messes to clean up, if you know what I mean. She does have a terrible cold though...which means lots and lots of Vick's at night. The poor girl smells like she bathed in it, even after she actually bathes!
*Friday I went and hung out at my parents' house with my sisters...and to share my sick child:) Nic was working ALL day and into the night, so I just planted myself at my parents'. However, this quickly changed when I got a text that said "I just rolled my ankle really bad" from my hubby. Of course, my stomach tossed and I became the paranoid wife that I am. It ended up that he got in a foot pursuit- and it kinda went bad. He was fine, but they made him go to the hospital just to make sure he was ok. This is the same ankle he broke in college and the same one the doctors were worried about surgery if anything happened again. But, nothing was torn or broken-praise the Lord! He isn't allowed back to work until Thursday though because of the severity of the sprain. I really must say, I am thankful for almost a week with him here at home!! Not sure he feels the same though when the kids are screaming their heads off and I go into "not-so-nice-wife/mother" mode. But, I am just enjoying that he has with us considering how much he has been working.
* Nothing is really new with me:) I have found myself on my knees more than usual asking God for wisdom and guidance. Don't worry, nothing is wrong:) We are just asking for maybe some more open doors! Sometimes I think I am afraid to ask for this because I am afraid to know the answer. But, God continues to provide for us and I am thankful for that.
So there, there is my poor attempt at a blog...:) Hope you all enjoy the thunderstorms today...I will be seeking safety in a nearby bathroom:)

Just life! And some potty training!

This week has been a whirlwind of events and I am finally able to sit and relax...and watch American Idol:)

Now, the following is just for me to record...so I am warning you it might be a tad boring...although all of it is special to me. The last post I wrote was about Mother's Day...about what my mother has meant to me and everything that I hope I am to my children. This mother's day Hayden, Colt and I headed to church, after fighting them both to get dressed and out the door...Sundays are always those kind of mornings that are a little hard for the kids...and the parent. But, we made it out the door and this week we were only 10 minutes late:) We are getting closer!! yikes! It seems no matter how early I get up, get the kids up, we still just cannot get out the door on time. Nic had to work as usual on a Sunday, so I was thankful when I drove up and saw my dad standing there ready for the kids.

After church, the kids and I went home and went to work on the house we neglected all weekend...whoops. We were having our families over for the special day for a late lunch. It was very special to me to be in the same room with the women that have shaped my life. I received beautiful flowers from both my father and my husband:) That evening Nic had a couple of softball games that we went to...which was a blast! Even though I have NO CLUE what happened during the games due to 2 very energetic kids demanding my attention! They were great though and it was such a beautiful day to be outside!

I forget Monday....hmmm...so let's get to Tuesday...

I had the privilege to watch a friend's 3 girls...3-month old twins and a 2 1/2 year old. I have to admit...I was nervous that I wasn't going to be able to handle 5 kids 2 and under...but...the girls were excellent. Hayden and Ry played wonderfully together and I enjoyed holding babies again. It is weird to think that I don't have a baby anymore. I missed that stage more than I thought. We spent the day reading books, singing Jesus Loves Me, playing, eating, going potty. Which brings me to this next point. Ry is potty trained...so every time she went on the little potty, Hayden watched her intently, got her toilet paper, and then asked to go after her. It was AWESOME! She went pee in the potty every stinkin' time...well...except for the time she started to tinkle on the floor, but then ran and did the rest in the potty... and even asked to go. Now, I have been trying for months to get Hayden to sit on that potty and...nothing. She would sit (sometimes) and then just get up and run away. I tried books, I tried songs, I tried showing, I tried bribing...and nothing...until a 2 year old came along and did my job in one single day. As soon as they left, I had to get ready and leave for a dinner with the VP of Shaklee sales. Let me tell you, it was an awesome time being able to just get to know Dave and how down to earth he is. I loved hearing about his story and how he ended up where he is right now. We had a meeting after that at the Flemming's where he spoke to everyone there. It was AWESOME!

This morning had a great surprise when I woke up! Well, besides my little girl crawling ON TOP of my face! She went potty right away in the morning all by herself. But that wasn't the surprise. Nic had early morning open gym and came home to tell me that he would like to go to the zoo! I was soooo excited to be spending a whole day with my little family! The kids absolutely loved the animals and were perfect little angels. Colton was very excited to see each animal as he pointed and asked, "waz at?" Hayden walked almost the entire time and led the way. It is so fun at this age to see that they are actually enjoying themselves and like to see the animals. We then spend the afternoon at my parents' house where the kids (and Nic) napped and played outside on the swing set. The night ended with a little cookout with Tara, Steve, and little Hannah. It was HOT today....but I am not complaining! I loved it! The kids loved it as well! Today was the kind of day that I just relish in...the kind of day that makes me so thankful for what God has blessed me with...great family, great friends, great food, great life!

My Mom

It is hard to believe that this will be my third Mother's Day. To me, it is a very special day. Not because it is a day devoted to mother's (some in my family like to think I think the world revolves around me...hehe)...but because I am reminded about what being a mom means. You don't really know that special, amazing, one-of-a-kind love until you are actually holding your baby in your arms. It is a scary kind of love as well as the most rewarding kind.

As I reflect on what this day means, I am reminded of my own mother. When I think of my mom and who she is, this is what I think of...

A mother...

-Cries with and for her child

-Laughs with her child

-Rejoices with her children

-Stays up at all hours of the night when her child is sick or simply can't sleep

-Praises her child

-Disciplines her child

-Prays for her child for health, wisdom, guidance, safety, joy

-Does everything in her power to protect her child

-Loves her child with an unconditional love

-Hurts when her child is hurting

-Teaches and inspires her child to dream

-Nurses their child back to health

-Reads to her child the same book over and over...and over

-Has a special patience for her child that no other person could understand

-Hopes for her child and believes in them

-Is sometimes the only one that is on her child's side

-Has open arms...all the time

-Points her child back onto the rode when they starts to stray

-Is full of a kind of strength that only a mother can possess

-Encourages her child in down times

-Is the glue that holds the family together

-Is a nurse, a teacher, a cook, a peacemaker, a lawmaker, an actress (for those times we have to entertain our children), a singer, a friend

I am a blessed and thankful child that has had a mother that has been everything above and more. My mother has taught me what it means to love. She has taught me that in everything I do, in every decision I make, I am to take it to the Lord. I am to lean on His strength, on His word, and on His faithfulness. She has shown me that these things that I have listed can't be taught to you...they are there from the moment your own child enters the world. Thank you, mom, for being my mom, for being every single thing I listed. Thank you for your example spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Thank you for listening to me ball my eyes out over the phone and have that special way of bringing calmness and clearness to the situation. Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick. Thank you for staying up with me during the night after a breakup or a fight with a friend. Thank you for never giving up on me and pushing me to be the best I could be. Thank you for the time you have spent in my classroom before school started to make sure everything was all set up. Thank you for driving over to my house to watch the kids when I thought I might lose it. Thank you for disciplining me...every single day of my life...haha...just kidding. Thank you for attending all those basketball games that I cheered at. Thank you for being the best babysitter for our babies. Thank you for coming with me to the doctor appointments to help with the kids. Thank you for cleaning my house with I was sick as a dog during my first pregnancy. Thank you for being there for me to cry to after my miscarriage and letting me know it was ok to grieve. Thank you for being their to rejoice in the birth of my 2 babies. Thank you for all of the laughs you have brought into my life and the unforgettable memories. These words will never be able to express my true gratitude for everything you have done in my life...for everything that you have been to me and for me. Thank you for not only being my mother, but my friend. When everything else seems to be falling all around me, you have always been there to lift me back up, and for that I am grateful. Thank you for praying for me. My prayer is that I will be the mom for my children that you have been for me. I pray that I am an example for my children the way you have been for me. I love you, mom. Happy Mother's Day!

Back to Reality

Well...back to reality...and cold....BUT the SUN IS OUT AND SHINING! So I gotta be happy about that, right?

I had to laugh this morning when I woke up (well, I cried first after only getting 5 hours of broken sleep because of babies waking up) because yesterday when Nic and I walked through the door with the babies, I smiled and was so thankful that I had the time before we left to clean the house. I can't tell you the feeling of walking into a CLEAN house after a week of vacation. I purposely made sure all dishes were clean, all clothes were clean and put away, floors mopped and vacuumed, fridge cleared out, trash taken out, and so on and so on. Well, you couldn't tell a SINGLE bit that this house was EVER clean when I got out of bed...my 10 hours of pride was shot down when I saw our clothes EVERYWHERE, toys thrown through the house, stacks of clothes waiting to be clean, or clean and needed to be put away from the vacation, plastic bags of lotions, shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste and toothbrushes thrown on the table, stuffings from the diaper bag spilling out, suitcases being tripped over. Goodness, unpacking takes longer than packing!! Goodness gracious! But ya know, ya just gotta laugh about it sometimes. So throughout the day I would go from chore to chore forgetting the actual chore I was on and move onto something else and then remembered and well, just never stopping to sit down trying to get everything back into place. It was a little hard when I would finally get, let's say the kitchen, kind of in decent shape only to have Hayden "help" and empty the towel drawer and play house with our dog...with EVERY SINGLE dish towel, oven mit, and apron...which means I now have really clean towels:) She was also a great help when I was cleaning her room and she decided to decorate the living room with half the toys that I just put away in the toy room. But how can I get upset when she runs to me and points to her wonderful mess and says, "look, mom" with such a proud smile on her face and her eyes so wide and excited at what she did and then wraps her arms around my legs. Gosh, I love her. She even helped me with Bubby when she decided that he "beep, beeped" (pooped) and decided to change his diaper all by herself while I was going to the bathroom (when will I learn I can no longer go to the bathroom while the kids are awake?). Let's just say Bubby was laughing his head off and Hayden was once again proud of herself, but me on the other hand, am truly worried about how this is going to scar my son (I WILL NOT go into detail what she was doing to him before trying to put on the diaper). Where is Mamaw and Papi? I was very spoiled this past week with all the incredible help of my family and having Nic 24/7 to myself.

Also, another thing I noticed...I don't know if I am just crazy or anyone else is like this, but I would be putting away clothes in Hayden's room and while putting away the clothes in the drawers I would say, "hey, this needs to be cleaned out". So I would start cleaning out all the drawers making a bigger mess than I started...or putting away the diaper bag in the closet and being disgusted with the disorganized coats, purses, random things that you find in our closet so I would start cleaning it out and then have my husband come home to everything in the closet ON the FLOOR and him just looking at me like "what the heck are you doing?" In my mind I do have a purpose to all the madness...you just can't see it yet. But that's when I realized...I am a complete scatter brain! or maybe ADHD? Not sure which one!

Anyways, reality is back and so is my wonderful "kids live here" house. Someday I will get the hang of this whole parenting thing...if I am lucky I will get it before they turn 18 and are moving out of the house.

Nic went back to work and we are totally back to our normal routine of craziness and I love every single second of it...even when I want to just lock myself in the bathroom, sit in the tub and pretend my kids are perfect little angels who don't cry, don't fight, don't poop, and just want to please me in everything they can do...at ages 2 1/2 and 11 months. Hehe! But...I can't even shut the door of the bathroom for fear of safety for my children from each other.

But I don't care...who needs privacy to pee? Not me.

I know this is all over the place, but that's how I roll!

Night!

Memories

Some things to remember from this week:

*Hayden running around EVERYWHERE naked!

*Snuggling with Hayden watching American Idol

*Watching Colton inch his way from room to room

*Watching Hayden vacuum in her diaper

*Having Colton fall asleep on my chest like he used to

*Watching my grandpa hold Colton and repeat "God bless you."

*Yelling at the TV while watching the Bachelor thinking that maybe Brad could hear me say to kick off Michelle

*Going to Chili's with just my little family (thank the Lord for gift cards!)

*Sleeping through most of the night...Hayden and Colt are getting back into a good routine...for now:)

*Hearing Hayden YELL at the TV and pointing her little finger "Rarah, Rarah!" at a girl that had dark long hair on American Idol

*Seeing my 2 sisters on Sunday for about 2.2 hours

*Singing and dancing to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with my 2 babies

*Realizing that basketball season is almost over:)

Special Moments

Today has been a sweet, sweet day so far. Woke up and snuggled, that's right, snuggled with both of my babies in the big bed. Hayden was talking in her language (probably telling Bubby all that she was planning to do today), Colton was grinning ear to ear in admiration for his sister, and I was thanking God for this precious moment. No extra kids today meant no alarm clock...well...besides the "Mom? Mommy?" echoing through the hallway letting me know that it was, in fact, time to start the day.

After the cuddle fest, we moved to the kitchen where I attempted to feed Bubby his cereal and fruit...which was a task in itself as most of it ended on my pants, splattered on the kitchen counter, smothered over his hands due to playing in the splattered counter, and then all over my face as he decided it was time to sneeze...with his mouth full. While Bubby enjoyed his lovely breakfast, Hayden enjoyed her cereal bar while sharing it with Iris. See, she is learning how to share! One bite for her, one for Iris, one lick for her, one for Iris. Yum. We then thought it would be fun to get in the drawer with all the straws and see what kind of design we could make with them on the kitchen floor...let me rephrase that...HAYDEN thought it would be fun! But, she loved it...and once again...so did the dog.

I decided the kids would enjoy a bath considering one was covered in cereal and bananas. I love watching the kids in the bath because they have so much fun...splashing water EVERYwhere, playing with toys, filling the bowl with water and dumping it on each other. Today was kind of different though...I think my little boy found his boy part...I was a little afraid, I admit, that he was going to hurt himself trying to take it off. By the time everyone was clean, dry, and had somewhat of an outfit on, Bubby decided he would take a nap. He slept for 3 hours...I was SHOCKED. I kept cracking open the door to make sure he was ok. As I looked into the crib, I couldn't help but smile and thank God for my sweet little boy. His sweet little body curled up and he lips curling into a smile (probably dreaming about nursing!).

While he slept, I folded laundry (with the help of my daughter), put away laundry (which I despise), cleaned up the straws only to see them back on the floor after putting the dishes away, cleaned the straws up again, fished a straw out of Iris' mouth, fished 3 straws out of the slot in the oven, and fished another straw out of the vent, ran around the house 3 times chasing Hayden just to hear her giggle, pick her up after totally wiping out rounding a corner, fed her lunch, fished out the HUGE piece of pizza jammed into her mouth, laughed with her, watched her play at her easel with the magnetic letters, watched her wonder through the house looking for things to get into, watched her rub her precious eyes, laid her in her bed, prayed with her, and off she drifted to sleep. I know I saw this often, but I just can't describe the love I have for these two babies. I know every mom out there feels the same. It is just a love so deep that you can't describe. It reminds me of Jesus' love for His children.

Shortly after Hayden fell asleep, Bubby woke up with a HUGE smile on his face. So...I took that time to just snuggle with him and took it all in. His giggle, the way his eyes light up when I talk to him, the way his feet and hands are non-stop, the way he brings his hands together when he gets excited...what a special little boy.

I know this first part of my day might not sound so special to some people, some people might not care less what I find so special...well then...don't read my blog!

Nic is gone all night at a game, so it's just me and the kiddos...maybe a nice relaxing night with a movie??? Umm...yeah right!!

You know you are tired when

You know you are tired when:

-you watch your daughter strip down to bare skin and then run around the house and don't care one bit because you can't stir up enough energy to even put a diaper on her.

-you sit down to fold clean laundry for about 15 minutes, go to the bathroom, come back and throw all the clothes in the hamper and then put them all in the washer...dumb, dumb, dumb.

-you listen to your daughter screaming in her crib and just stare at the ceiling thinking that maybe, just maybe, she might fall asleep again...even though she just slept 2 hours.

-you can't remember the last time you ate...or the last time you even fed your children.

-you sit down and stare at the television for about 10 minutes before realizing it isn't even on.

-you drive home only to pass your neighborhood....twice.

-you stare at the dishes in the sink trying with all your might to somehow use magic powers for them to wash themselves.

-you wake up in the middle of the night with your shirt around your neck and your tatas hanging out after forgetting to cover back up after the midnight feeding.

-you run into the stupid wall...twice.

-you sit down to write this post and it takes you about twice as long because you can't get your stinkin' fingers to work correctly and you have to press the delete button every other letter.

-you wake up during the night with a HUGE pile of drool under you.

-you forget that both your kids are sleeping and that you are wasting your time on this computer muttering and whining when you could be SLEEPING!

Although Colton is doing a little better at night, he is still waking up at least three times. I know this is only for a short time so I am doing the best I can just to make the best of it...but man am I a tired momma. Ha...and I only have 2 kids. But I think I get to count Hayden as at least 2 kids...you gotta love that girl. I write this so someday I will look back and realize that this whole being tired thing was just a moment in life...maybe!

The Teething Monster

Well, as you can tell, it has been awhile since my last report…well for me it’s been awhile. The only reason why I have the time right now to blog is because my loving husband is tackling the 2 kiddos (and that is NOT an easy job!) while watching Toy Story 3. You know, it’s funny…you would think I would have the all the time in the world to sit down and right about what’s been going in the Minder household because I am at home with my kids all day long. HA…that is SO not the case. No, I do not go to work all day…but I DO work all day. If you are a mom, you know what I mean. Colt has me working overtime these past few weeks as his 2 bottom teeth have finally decided to merge from beneath the surface. I find it comical in a way how completely OPPOSITE my children are in every way possible. Hayden slept, Colton doesn’t. Hayden didn’t mind her teeth coming in, Colton does…a lot. Hayden didn’t like to snuggle at all, Colton wants to snuggle all the time. Both children are so unique and I love that about them. Anyways, it has been quite difficult emotionally and physically with these changes but somehow God continues to give me the strength to get through each day. I think Tuesday was my lowest point yet where I just wanted to crawl up in a ball and just cry just to cry. But, like I have said before, this is just a time. It won’t be like this for long.

Another struggle we have been having since Colt was born was him taking a bottle. He has taken a few since he has been born but recently just won’t take one. We have tried every bottle we can find, every different shape and size of bottle nipples. Nothing. He just would NOT take a bottle. Last night mom and I went to Babies R Us. I thought maybe we were just wasting our time but we came across and Playtex bottle that had a tan nipple. It was a different shape than the rest. We thought we would give it a try. I got back to my parents and stuck it into his mouth. To my surprise he started sucking. I was almost in shock! Praise the Lord. I tried a couple times today after pumping and he ate a little…but still not a lot. But hey, I will take that. He will get used to it.

So, to recap the last week…sleep has been little, crying has been a lot, prayers have been lifted overtime, patience has been lost, tears have been plenty. This is only a time. God will get us through this time.

Randomness

So…life here has been crazy busy…I have come to finally realize that the house will never be “clean” with four kids occupying it most days, 2 of which are running around like crazy, getting into drawers, getting out every single toy and bringing it from the playroom to the family room because heaven forbid they play with the toys in the actual toy room, changing diaper after diaper after diaper, and the list goes on…but the truth is, I would have it no other way. So many times I start to get so frustrated with all the crying, screaming, throwing fits, no sleep, but then I think, this is only for a little while. I can do it…right?

Nic and I have also been meeting with a lot of different people that want to know more about what we are doing and what Shaklee is all about, which has been so awesome to see. I think the thing I love most about it is we get to do it together. It isn’t just something I do, it is something WE BOTH do. I have loved watching Nic get so excited about it. We know that it won’t always be this busy, so we don’t mind it at all.

This week Colton has mastered sitting up! It is so awesome to watch! It was just like all of a sudden he was sitting…by himself! He has also been rolling from one side of the room to the other, which makes me laugh. He is also grabbing for EVERYTHING IN SIGHT, which then goes into his mouth. I just can’t believe how much he is growing. Well…not physically. We had his 6-month appointment last week and he is 14 pounds…which is the 4^th percentile…he hasn’t gained ANYTHING from his appointment 2 months ago. He has started on food, so hopefully that will help. He still won’t take a bottle so I am wondering if that has anything to do with it. Probably not.

Hayden has been keeping the house in excitement. She is such a funny little person. Seriously, she is such a crack up. Sometimes I don’t think so at the time…ha. In the last week I have seen her start to talk even more…putting a couple of words together at a time. Sometimes I get worried about her not talking when I see others her age that are talking in full sentences and counting. I just think she is too busy. She doesn’t have time to talk! She just runs constantly room to room, clearing out drawers, packing them up again, climbing on everything, falling, getting back up to do it again, torturing her brother by sitting on him, you get the picture. Hayden and Kinsley did get to have a play date with Bella Cramer, which was fun for them. It was extra fun for me to get caught up with Jaymie. We grew up together and have always had a special friendship. Even though we haven’t gotten to see each other in like a year, it felt like no time had passed. It was also just a great time to sit and visit with an adult!

This is a very random post, but this is our life….and I love it. Oh, and in a couple of short weeks my WHOLE family will be together. That’s right…Adam, Jamie, Rori, Kris, Sarah, Mom, Dad, Grandmas and Grandpas, Toni, CoCo, Mark, Nancy, Tom, Nic, Hayden, Colt, and me in the SAME place!!!!!!! I have to charge my camera! Hehe! Life is good! God is GREAT!

Here is Colton sitting up:

And I forgot to post some pics of Hayden's Halloween costume, so here you go! We did not go Trick-or-Treating, but we still dressed her up!

I need a morning re-start

After a restless night with Colton, my alarm went off at 8:00 this morning right when he was starting to get hungry and right as I was starting to fall asleep again. So, I thought I would feed him as I drifted off to sleep for 15 more minutes of sleep. As I waited for the alarm go off for the second time, it started to feel like these 15 minutes were taking forever...and then it hit me, I had drifted off into that state of sleep where I had a fuzzy dream about my best friends, Tara and Steve were being very mean and decided not to be my friend anymore. I immediately woke up, almost in tears wondering if that dream was really true (don't worry, I called Steve and texted Tara and it wasn't real) and glanced at my phone...8:45...Sweet Jesus, I had Colt's appointment in 15 minutes in downtown Elkhart. I am telling you, I have NEVER gotten ready so fast, and what I mean about ready, I mean I: rushed in Hayden's room, scaring her to death, throwing a shirt and pants on her and then had to take the pants back off to put on a dry diaper (oops), shoved shoes on her feet, then had to take them off and put them on the RIGHT feet, ran and changed Bubby as he was screaming his face off, put on tennis shoes without socks, ran Colt out the door and strapped him in his seat, ran inside to get Hayden, well...search for Hayden, found her playing in the canister of sugar (great), strapped her in her seat to find that her hair was a crazy rat's nest and her face was covered with dried drool, figured I should maybe put on a coat to hide my pajamas (that's right..didn't even put on real clothes), ran inside to grab the first coat I saw, ran out to the garage for the 15 millionth time, glanced at the fridge on my out, looked at the card with the appointment time on it, stopped dead in my tracks, realized it said 9:50....took a breath, WALKED to the garage, unstrapped Hayden, bring her inside with her eyes in wonderment, walked to the garage, unstrapped Colton, bring him inside...still crying...and took another breath, realized I wasn't late and that I am a retard...SOOO...I walk to the bathroom because now I know I have time to actually get to looking decent, so I look in the mirror...hellooooooo white trash...I couldn't believe I was actually going to go out in public looking the way I did, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, put REAL clothes on with the proper under garments, brushed Hayden's hair, put socks on Colt after realizing he had nothing on his feet (my poor children), fed Hayden, wiped her face, change Colt, headed back out the door...this time feeling like an actual human being, got to the appointment right on time, carried both kids inside because heaven forbid Hayden use her legs, held Colt while he got his shots, watched Hayden's face in complete terror, watched Hayden hold her legs all the way out to the car (even though she isn't the one who got the shots), put the kids back in the car and headed home....now it is 10:30 and I can breathe again. Hmmm...maybe next time I will make sure I have the right time the night before.

Precious Sleep

Get ready to hear this! This is some exciting news (well...to me)!

My little boy, Mr. Colton, the precious baby boy that has not slept for what seems like his whole 6-month life...has been sleeping from 9pm-1am and then 1am to 5am and then until 7:30. Can I just say that this has been such an answer to prayer?! Not only an answer to prayer but a complete blessing. I know that to some of you this isn't that big of a deal...but it sure is to me! Not only has he been sleeping so much better...but he has been sleeping in his own bed for the whole night. I finally started putting him on his stomach and I think that is really helping. He does cry when I put him in the crib...but only for about 5-10 minutes. So, please pray that this little habit continues. Oh, and he is also rolling all over now and ends up on the other side of the room within minutes! I think he is liking the whole moving around thing! I still can't get over how much he is changing and how big he is getting. Just thought I would share:)

Helloooooo Fall!

I don’t know if you realized it yet, but this weekend was the last weekend in September. WOW! What a month! What an emotional month…but a good month! This last weekend we spent with friends and football (well…kinda football!). Friday night Nic was working so I met my good ole friends the Spiveys and Millers at no other place than Hacienda! Can I just say I am still not the best at handling BOTH kids by myself at a restaurant?! Thank goodness for Steve and Rick for stepping in with carrying the down right heavy car seat and tackling Hayden while I soothed her little brother after she bit his finger…the little pistol! Ok, seriously, how do you discipline your child in public when you are afraid that if you set one finger on her someone will call CPS? So, thank you boys for helping a mom out! After dinner we met back at our house to watch Get Smart…I didn’t even know we owned it…HA. But I am glad I know now because it is kind of funny!

Saturday was another day spent with friends. But before that, I met up with my mom to do some grocery shopping while Pops spent time with his mini me. I am telling you, Hayden loves Papi more than anyone and I sometimes get jealous! She spotted him on the mower the SECOND we pulled in the driveway, so of course she had to stand there, eyes glued on him, until he picked her up. When I returned home with the groceries and two sleeping kids, I was met by Nic. Between the 2 of us we got both kids in their beds and for their naps and all the groceries unloaded in record time. Because we were so speedy I was also able to put up my fall decorations!! It was then time to relax and enjoy our friends and watch some football…if you want to call it that.

Today we went to lunch with my parents, which I enjoyed greatly, not just because of the good food, but because I just love being with family. Nic had today off, which was SOOO awesome…he didn’t have to work AT ALL..no SE and no security! WOOHOO! Anyways, we were so looking forward to our afternoon nap. Both kids have had a little cold so I thought it would be a great time for EVERYONE to take a nap. Oh but did they have other plans. Hayden laid in her crib for a whole hour talking, kicking the bed, throwing everything out of her bed, and then screaming to let her out of her jail. Colton decided he just wanted to play and smile and not even try to close his eye lids. Great. This was the first time in a veryyyyy long time that Hayden didn’t nap at all during the day. But now it is 7:16 and guess what she is doing?? Sleeping. Does this mean she will be up at the crack of dawn?? Oh dear I hope not! I am really thinking maybe this will be our week of getting at least 4 hours of sleep at night. You think that will happen? By the grace of God I pray that happens!

Ok, now back to September…Can you believe that this is the last week of September?! For me, at least, it is very hard to believe that October is just around the corner, which happens to be the month that my baby girl turns TWO…yes, she will be TWO years old. Seriously, time flies by faster than the speed of light…well maybe not that fast but it seems like it! I don’t know about you but I know of some big things that will be happening this month and man am I stoked. Fall is now here and I have quite enjoyed the need of my oversized sweatshirts and wearing socks. I know, I know, I am going to regret saying that in a about a month when it is below freezing and I am wishing my little head off that I could wear flip flops again. But for this moment I am enjoying the cooler weather and actually being able to play outside with Hayden with out my sweat glands going hay-wire. I am also enjoying the beautiful gold, orange, and red colors I see all around me. The decorations, the leaves, the pumpkins. Oh man, I feel like a little girl in anticipation of a field trip to the pumpkin patch. I can’t wait to see how Hayden reacts when we take her to get a pumpkin…she will probably want the biggest one and then want to carry it all by herself, which I have all faith in her that she will carry it. She is a strong little lady. I have no doubt whatsoever that she will be one of those girls who can take care of herself.

Another reason I am loving this weather right now is because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BONFIRES! I love gazing into the blue, red, orange, and yellow flames. It is just so relaxing. It also reminds me of when Nic and I used to camp with his family while we were dating and every night we would just sit around the fire and just enjoy each other’s company. Nic would sometimes play his guitar and I would just let go of anything I was thinking about and just pray. And of course you can’t have a fire without S’MORES! Oh man, do I love those things…but of course I always had to completely burn my marshmallows so you couldn’t even see a hint of white just because I am so darn impatient! Nic, on the other hand takes his sweet old time and gets them the perfect golden color.

I am also excited because we will be doing our first vendor (for Shaklee) at Baugo Township Fire Department on October 9^th. There will be SO many different vendors out there including Lia Sophia, Scentsy, Tastefully Simple, Miche Bags, Cookie Lee Jewelry, Advocare, 31 Gifts, Dove Chocolate, Guy and Eva, Willow House, Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Uppercase Living, and many more. There will also be a Quarter Auction at 6 pm with the products from these vendors. If you would like to come and join and have some fun, let me know. Tickets are $4. There will be food and drinks as well. Just make sure you bring your QUARTERS!! Man am I stoked! The only thing is, I will be in Ohio for a shower so my WONDERFUL and dear husband is going to do the table for me…what a man! He might be the only male there but shhhh! Anyways, it will be a fun time, so come on out!

Alright, now that I have rambled on, I am going to spend the rest of the night watching Robin Hood and enjoying my husband’s company!

A Moment of Weakness

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

You know, it’s funny how I am laying in bed right now, wishing on every star that I could close my eyes, no thoughts, no distractions, and fall into that wonderful deep sleep that not even dreams can find you. But I can’t. So I am going to write from my heart instead.

I woke up yesterday after not even having a full 2 hours sleep and thought never had I ever felt so lifeless and weak as I did in that moment. Colton was up every hour. I had thoughts racing through my head about the events of the next day. Would the meeting at my dad’s office be successful? Would people really listen to what we have to say? Thoughts like that wouldn’t leave my mind no matter how hard I wished them away. Hayden woke up at 5 and then at 7, when she normally sleeps until at least 8:30. I felt like I didn’t have an ounce of energy in me to get up from the couch and walk the 10 feet to retrieve her out of her crib as she cried out, “mommy, ou (out).” But, I knew my day needed to start. Even thought it was early, I already felt the stress of being late. The house looked like a tornado blew through it-the dishes everywhere, clean clothes folded on the bed that needed to find their place, dirty clothes splattered on the floor with their like colors, toys plastering the floor…everywhere, ants stealing away the leftover crumbs from Hayden’s cracker (I know, disgusting), cookies that needed to be baked for the meeting, a baby that desperately just wanted to be held in his momma’s arms, a little girl that wanted her momma to just sit and play with her. All these things needing to be down and I couldn’t find the strength to do a single thing. I wanted to just crawl back in bed, cry myself into that deep sleep that I haven’t seen since before Colton was born. But I couldn’t. So after a sob fest over the phone to my mom (poor lady, she has such an emotional, needy daughter right now),I found myself on my knees, in tears, and prayed for a strength only God could give to me. I needed him to breathe in me the energy I needed for the day, for my kids. I had to believe that God would answer this prayer. When I looked up, I saw Hayden looking at me. She came to me and put her little hands on my face and kissed me. I knew I would get through this exhaustion, someday. Despite what some may say, sleep IS needed.

I had been looking forward to this day for a month. It was the day that Kara, her parents, and I were going to speak to the staff at my dad’s office about Shaklee. I couldn’t wait to hear Suzanne share about the vitamins and the Shaklee difference. I couldn’t wait to watch the faces of people like me learning how they can live a healthier life.

I knew that God was working, that He was showing me that Nic and I didn’t have to live in fear of making ends meet. I knew that we had finally found that answer to that prayer that I prayed several times down on my knees before God.

But I couldn’t see past my tears long enough to remember these things. In a fog that I barely remember, I baked the 2 dozen cookies, showered, got the kids ready, the diaper bag ready, left the dirty dishes where they were, and left the house.

As I was driving to Aunt Steph’s house where my kids would be spending the next couple hours, I was overwhelmed by weakness. Not a spiritual weakness. A physical weakness. A weakness I wasn’t used to. A weakness I hated with all my heart. A weakness I had no control over. As thoughts were running through my head, I looked in my mirror at flashing lights. My heart sunk, for the second time that day. I was getting pulled over. I looked at my speed, which was 5 mph slower than the speed limit. I had no idea what I had done wrong. Mr. Officer came to my door. I rolled down the window with tears fighting to come to my eyes. I tried my hardest to keep them back after remembering what Nic had said about pulling people over and them crying, which ticked him off. Without saying a word, I got my registration and my license out. I looked at him waiting for him to tell me what I did wrong. He asked me if I was ok, which I really wanted to ask him in return is, “sir, do you really want to ask that question right now?” But I didn’t. I said I was fine. He then went on to say that I had crossed over the white line a couple of times. Hmmm…didn’t even know I had. He then looked in the back seat at Hayden. He asked if she was my daughter and I said yes. He said that he should give me a ticket for child restraint. As I turned to see what the heck he was talking about, I saw that Hayden had maneuvered her arm through her strap. Great. So, he had me get out of my car, take her out of her seat, put her in the front seat, redo the car seat, put her back in the seat, and then he tightened everything extra tight. I apologized again and reassured him this wouldn’t happen again. He let me off with a warning, thank Jesus. I got back in the car, he gave me my papers, and we both headed our separate ways. Seriously, did that just happen? Yes, yes it did. I called Kara, in tears because I thought I was going to be late for sure, and she told me that her and her mom think that Satan is just trying to get the best of us. I thought about that as I continued the drive to Steph’s and then to the office. I decided I WILL NOT let Satan do this to me. I WILL NOT let him make me feel this weak. I WILL NOT let him discourage me. I WILL NOT let him have his hold on me. I went back to praying, HARD. I pulled into my dad’s office with 15 minutes to spare. I could breathe again. I saw Kara and her parents in the parking lot. I saw something that I so desperately wanted on my face at that time,…all three of them smiling. I stepped out of the car and all the sudden felt sense of strength in my bones again. I felt a sincere smile come to my face and I was ready to see what God had in plan for us in the next couple of hours. We met my dad in the conference room and were greeted with the smell of pizza. My wonderful dad ordered lunch for the people who attended. The meeting went great and I absolutely loved seeing many of the ladies I have gotten to know over the last couple of years. It was a great time.

The next thing that happened was another answer to prayer. My dad told me he would pick up the kids and then him and mom would watch them while I took a nap. That right there was a piece of heaven. I couldn’t drive fast enough (but I drove just the right amount of speed so I wouldn’t have to see Mr. Officer again). I talked with my mom for a couple of minutes before I realized my words were slurring together. I drug my feet to my sister’s room where I saw a bed. A bed that I was going to get to lay down in. A bed where I might find peace and strength after a couple hours of sleep. I commanded my thoughts to be pushed away for this precious time. I closed my eyes and I was gone. Although I didn’t find that deep sleep that I wanted to, which I probably won’t find until my kids are out of the house, I felt refreshed. I felt like I could once again be the mom to my babies without feeling like a zombie. God knew what I needed. He always does.

I didn’t write this for you to feel sorry for me. I didn’t write this to depress you. I know that there are people going through huge life changing even right now that I couldn't even imagine. But this little thing, this no sleep thing, is big to me right now. I feel like I am not even myself. I feel life I am on the outside watching my life go on. I wrote this because this is my heart. This is my struggle right now. I know this won't last for long. I know it will get better. This is me. I wrote this because I know that God is stronger than me. I know that this is a just a glimpse of my life that, while I am weak, I will remember to always turn back to God and rely on His strength, not mine.

Thank you mom and dad. Thank you for watching my children so I could rest. Thank you.