Ok, so I am going to be completely vulnerable with something I am struggling with. If you know me at all, you know that I am a complete worry-wart. I worry about finances. I worry about the well being of my family. I worry about losing the people I love. I worry about losing my friends. I even worry about what people think of me…all the time. I worry. I worry about the safety of my husband, which is why I am writing this. I am constantly looking up verses in the Bible about worry and I know that it is wrong, but I still do.
Don’t get me wrong, I could not be more proud of what my husband does each day when he goes to work, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry. I worry who and what he is going to come in contact with day to day….because let’s face it…there are some CRAZY, psychotic people out there. But my biggest worry is that he won’t come home….that there might come a day when he has to put his life on the line.
Like I said in my first post, I am constantly on my knees praying that God will wrap his protective arms around my husband and the other police officers out on the road every time he steps out of the house. I know I need to completely put my worry in the hands of my faithful father, but I find myself wanting to be in control. But let’s face it…this is something I can’t control and it drives me absolutely crazy. All I can do is pray. Pray that God will give each officer the strength and energy they need for each day. I pray that God will give them wisdom in the situations they find themselves in. I pray that God will hold each officer in His hands. I pray that God will use them to make a difference. I pray. That's all I can do, right?
So, if you are a wife of a police officer, will the worry ever go away? Will there ever come a day when I don’t have to call him every 30 minutes just to make sure he is ok?
I didn’t write this blog to be depressing, it is just a real issue that I am dealing with that is getting bigger and bigger in my life.
2 comments:
Hey Tori,
So I'm not a Police Officer's Wife, but I am a military spouse. I struggled with this for a long time, however I did come to understand that my husband is very well trained for what he does. The best thing I can do is pray that he stays safe and that he doesn't need to use his training! :) I also have learned to believe in him 100%....I believe everytime he leaves that he is coming home because he will "fight" to come home.
It's never easy, but it is something that comes with time. I hope that you can find a balance.
Lauren
I know we haven't talked in forever, but I saw this and thought I'd throw in my two cents :)
My fiance isn't a police officer, although he's debating it (going to school for criminal justice). He was a marine, and is working security now. Even before that, however, I was always worried about something happening to him. Especially because of having a baby to take care of, I've stressed so much, wondering what I would do if something were to happen to him. The thing is, I have to remind myself constantly that God knows when his life will end (and mine), and it'll happen whether he's out working his job, or just going to the store, or even just in his sleep. If it's not God's timing for him to die, then he won't, and if it is, then He has a plan for you (and me) to help us through it. I still worry, of course, because I don't want it to happen, and even knowing God can get me through it, I still know dealing with it will be really hard, and who wants to go through that? But that's just selfishness on my part. Anyway, I hope the stress eases up once you get more used to his being an officer and he comes home safe more and more. :) -Alicia
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