I Trust You, Jesus

We are now into the fourth day of the year 2011…it’s funny to read statuses on Facebook about different resolutions that people have…lose weight, clean more, cook more, be a better person, be more positive…and how long do these last? A couple months, days, maybe even one day? I am not saying these things are bad or you shouldn’t make resolutions or even goals…as a matter of fact I sat down on Monday and started making some of my own goals for this coming year. I think about what I want to accomplish, what I want to challenge myself to. When I sit here on December 31, 2011, what do I want to look back on from the year and smile at? Is there any worth to making the so called resolutions?

As I continued with my so-called goal list, I got excited to dream about what my year can look like. Do I know for sure what my year holds? No, I certainly don’t. I don’t know what trials my family will go through. I don’t know the joyous occasions that we will come across. I do know this…through everything, I want to look back on this year and KNOW that I trusted God in every situation, every decision. I want to KNOW that I gave God reign of everything that my family comes across. I want to KNOW that through every decision, Nic and I put God in the center and sought God’s wisdom. I want to KNOW that could honestly look back over the year and see God’s faithfulness through our lives.

One of my goals for the year is to read a passage of scripture a day. This past year I am not particularly proud of the time I spent with my heavenly father. Actually…I am kind of embarrassed. My mom gave each of us girls a little book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. She also has a copy of the book. She challenged each of us to read a section a day. It is something that we could do together without actually being together. I want to make it a goal to hold to that promise to my mom and spend that special time reading about God’s promises. Yes, I talk to God daily, but I want to spend time IN His word as well.

When I opened the little book to today’s passage, I was caught off guard what I read in the first sentence. It said, “I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying, ‘I trust You, Jesus’ in response to whatever happens to you.” I had to take a few minutes to let that statement sink in. Of course it is an easy sentence to read…ok, I need to trust Jesus, blah, blah, blah. But stop and think for a sec…do I REALLY trust Jesus…or do I just say I trust Jesus. In every decision I make, in every circumstance, do I trust Him? I can honestly say I want to trust Him, but I can honestly say most times I have a little doubt hidden somewhere. Sometimes I think, “is God really here with me? Does he actually care about what I do in this situation??” When this happens I start to doubt that he actually cares, that he is really here with me…sometimes to the point that I doubt that God even hears me.

So…after taking a minutes to ponder, I continued to read…”This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe.” Umm…HELLO…How can you not have trust in someone who can control the WHOLE universe? The last sentence is what I am holding onto right now…”Your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me.” That’s what I want…that’s what I want to read at the end of the year 2011 and say, that’s what I did…I trusted HIM and grew closer to Him. I want to be able to say, “I trusted God with…my children, my husband, the growth of our business, our health, our finances, our everyday decisions.” I DON’T want to look back on this year and say, “well, that was a nice thought that lasted about a week.” So, the reason I am pouring out my heart is because I want to be held accountable for this “goal”.

I have NO clue what this year holds…or what our family will face, but I do know I will trust God. Do I know that this decision will be hard? Yes, I do. Most times I want to handle situations myself…I worry…I second guess…I doubt…but now I want to say…I trust.

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” Psalm 139:7-10