Be Still

Believe it or not I am sitting here...in the quiet...no kids around. I am finding it hard to just "sit" still and to be in this weird "quiet". I feel like I should be running around the house, changing a diaper, soothing crying babies, making sure Hayden isn't strangling her brother, picking up toys, doing laundry, cleaning dishes, doing something...not just sitting here. In different circumstances I would probably soak in the quiet around me and just relax...but not now...not here sitting on the third floor of the hospital. I am finding it extremely hard to sit and "be still." It is hard to sit here and be still when my grandpa is laying in a hospital bed and will his body to heal...for his kidneys to work regularly again. But I can't. It is hard to sit here and be still when I just want to break down and curl into a ball. But I can't. It is hard to sit here and be still when I don't know what tomorrow holds...or even tonight.

I know that I do need to be still and know God is in control. I need to be still and rest in the people that whatever happens in the next few days that God is holding our family in his hands...that he is holding my grandpa. If He does call my grandpa home to him I can be at peace that grandpa will be in heaven with God...in no more pain...no more hospital...no more maybe's. I need to be still and know that He is God.