Words...

Dear Hayden, Colton, Easton,

Someday I hope that when you read this, you will find it encouraging. As your mother, I always want to protect you....from everything. I never want you to be hurting...EVER. But as you get older, I realize that sometimes the only way for you to grow as a person is to let you hurt. Sometimes you have to learn on your own, as much as I hurt for you. As your mother, I want you to be the best that you can be. You will make mistakes, but I want you to learn from them. They will make you stronger. As much as I want to be there for you for your every fall, I know you have to get up on your own or you will never learn. That is a hard realization for me. It takes every fiber of my being to hand you over daily to God. It makes me physically ill to think of the "what if's". I want you to know that I love you...love you so much that it hurts.  I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. I hope you can always come to me with anything...without hesitation.
There are some things that I want you to know...and to always remember...

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

Love Jesus.
Encourage your siblings...share in their joy.
Always tell the truth.
Obey your parents.
Use kind words.
Have fun.
Sing silly.
Dance crazy.
Be a giver.
Share everything...except bad ideas.
Say what you're sorry for.
Forgiveness is mandatory.
Hands are for hugging not hitting.
No fussing.
No whining.
No bad attitudes.
Never stay angry.
Be considerate.
Be respectful.
Be grateful.
Don't be afraid to try.
Be bold.
Stand up for what you believe.
Love your family.
Don't lose the wonder in things.
Your family matters.
Get enough sleep at night.
Do not compare.
Trying isn't failing.
The joy is found in the little things.
Joy and happiness are different.
Happiness is temporary, joy remains.
Start the day in prayer.
Think before you speak.
Take time to sit.
Read.
Look people in the eye.
Say "thank you" and mean it.
Help others.
Hold the door for people.
Smile.
Don't stress about laundry.
Remember to be thankful.
Share with others what you love about them.
Donate old clothes.
Be compassionate.
Play games.
Take walks.
Sit still.
Watch the sunrise and sunset.
Don't keep a past record of wrongs.
Don't fret the spills.
Be humble.
Respect elders.
Know how to say no.
Manage your time wisely. 

I love you more than life itself. 

Love,

Mommy

Siblings

Hayden, Colton, Easton,

From the day I found out I was going to be a mommy, I started praying for my future children. I prayed many things. One thing that I pray continually is that as you grow, you will grow together. That you will look to each other as not only siblings, but as friends...best friends. You see, my best friends are my sisters and my brother. No, we did not always get along...we fought...A LOT...we still do. But at the end of the day, they are your family...sometimes the only ones you've got. You won't always look at it that way, but it is the truth. I know you don't think I know a lot, but I do know that one as a fact. Life is messy. You will need each other. As you grow, you will fight with each other, you will sometimes even hate each other. But you are brothers and sister. You are family. So get over it. Life's too short to hold on to grudges. Forgive quickly. Rejoice with each other, cry with each other. Don't hide from each other. Laugh together. Have fun together. Hold each other. Build each other up...not tear each other down. Stand up for each other. Protect each other. Trust each other. You will not always see eye to eye. Agree to disagree. I never, ever want any of you to doubt the love of our family. God has brought you three together as siblings. LOVE each other deeply.

Love,

Mommy

ABC's of the Bible

I realize I have already written a blog post today, but I wanted to add this one as well. I am horrible with memorizing things. My short term memory STINKS. I was at a Christian school for grades 7-12 and had to memorize Bible verses weekly. I could memorize it and then write it down, get my grade, but then would forget it by the end of the day. I have to write down everything because I will forget it. If it is not written down within 15 minutes of getting the information, don't count me remembering. 

Soooo...because of that reason, I found on Pinterest (don't judge!) different verses for the children and I to start memorizing. 

A- "As for God, his way is perfect." Ps. 18:30

B- "Be strong and courageous. God is with you." Josh.1:9

C- "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Eph. 6:1

D- "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Ps 37:4

E- "Every good and perfect gift is from above." James 1:17

F- "For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

G- "God is love." 1 John 4:8

H- "Honor your father and your mother." Ex. 20:12

I- "I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against God." Ps. 119:11

J- "Jesus said, I am the way and the truth and the life." John 14:6

K- "Keep your lips from speaking lies." Ps. 34:13

L- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength." Deut. 6:5

M- "My help comes from the Lord." Ps. 121:2

N- "Nothing can separate us from God's love." Romans 8:39

O- "Oh Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." Ps. 30:15

P- "Praise the Lord." Ps. 103:1

Q- "in Quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15

R- "Rejoice in the Lord always." Phil. 4:4

S- "Surely God is my help." Ps. 54:4

T- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart." Proverbs 3:5

U- "Understanding is a fountain of life." Proverbs 16:22

V- "with God we will gain the VICTORY." Ps. 60:12

W- "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." Ps. 56:3

X- "Let us eXalt his name together." Ps. 34:3

Y- "You are the light of the world." Mt. 5:14

Z- "Zion hears and rejoices." Ps. 97:8

Sleep Troubles...again

Right now I need life to slow down just a little. As much as I want to be able to record everything, I am finding that by night time when the kids are all asleep I am just too darn tired to get on here and recall the day.
This past weekend and this week have been a little trying with both Hayden and Colton having colds. They aren't getting much sleep so I have had to pray for extra grace and have had to step away and count to 10 many times. Bless their hearts.
I write these moments/feelings down not to complain or to feel bad for myself, but so that one day, when the my babies have their own babies, I can look back and say, "it's ok, I have been there. You WILL get through it." Maybe it could also be of help to them in some way.
Speaking of sleeping...Hayden is still not sleeping. She will NOT fall asleep until 11:30-12. Then she wakes up when Bubby wakes up in the morning. I know she is tired but her body just won't shut down. She has a hard time with naps as well (I know she is getting to the age where she doesn't need them, but she really does!). Sometimes I will wake up to feed Easton and she is wide awake. Needless to say, I am exhausted. She also won't sleep in her room, so that is a challenge as well. She has been sleeping on the couch again. We decided to try melatonin...so we will see how that works. I hesitate to use any kind of medication for such a young age, but we just don't know how to get her to sleep.
On an up side, I have started going to Bible study at First Baptist with my mom, sister, and grandma. We are studying the Tabernacle. At first I was a little hesitant on it, but I am already in love with the study. It is extremely challenging, but amazing. It is a Beth Moore study, so we watch her on video for party of our time together. This is what I have been craving for so long. Something that would guide me through God's word and really challenge my heart. I always want to read my Bible but never really know where to start or what to do with what I read. I also am thankful I can do this with my family. There is just something special about that.
I have also been doing devotions with the kids before they go to bed. I can't tell you what a blessing this time has been. We have been reading from a little kid's devotional that my mom had gotten them. We started with the story of Adam and Eve. There is a little reading and then questions to go along with the passage. We end in prayer.
Just a couple quotes since starting this:
Me-"Who have we been learning about? (pointing to a picture of a man and woman)
Hayden-"Uncle Adam and Jamie!"
Me- "Close"

Me- "How does it make God feel when we don't listen to him?"
Colt- "Broke...we broke his heart."
Hayden- "Like we break your heart when we don't listen to you?"

Seriously...these kids melt my heart.

My mom, bless her heart, has offered to take the older two kids on Thursdays so I can run errands and go to different appointments and catch up on housework. This has been such a blessing for me because it allows me to spend some one on one with little Easton as well as renew my energy for when the kids return:). But...this past Thursday we decided to take a ride to Ft. Wayne. Kris needed to check on a few things with her apartment so we all went. If you know me, you know my family is everything to me. My sisters and mom are my best friends. So, as you can imagine, I took in every second of that day to be with Kris and my mom. I missed Sarah though!

I think that is all that is new around here. Oh yeah, Nic is wanting me to go back to work. I don't want to yet. Not because I am lazy, but I can't fathom to leave my babies right now...especially with Easton so young. I know I will need to eventually, just don't know what to do. I really don't feel that I can handle full time teaching right now...I wish I could somehow get a part time job that paid well! Oh well...I will just keep praying for wisdom!

I am ready to hit the sack...baby will be up in about 2 hours to eat:)

 FIrst smiles!!

This picture is just precious to me. I love it. And I love the 2 men in it!

Colt's 1st Swim Lesson

Yesterday (Thursday, September 13th), was Colton's first swim lesson. It was right after Hayden's and he was SOOO excited. I was nervous:) But...he did GREAT and LOVED it. I was so proud of my little man. He smiled the entire time and at times held on for dear life to the instructor. By the end of the lesson, he was trying to go under water by himself. I loved watching him.

Easton-One Month

Dear Sweet Easton,

You are now one month old. A WHOLE month. I still can't believe you have been out of the womb that long and yet I can't imagine life without you being a part of our family. You go right with the flow of all our activities. You are a very content baby. You kind of have to be with the craziness of our family. Easton, you are one sweet, sweet baby boy. You love to snuggle ALL day and ALL night. And I am ok with that. You love your Moby wrap and would spend all day in it if I allowed it. Everyone who holds you falls in love with you. You snuggle right up to them and are just so content in their arms. Your favorite position is right up against the chest with your head nestled in the neck of whoever is holding you. 

Your siblings are really getting attached to you and worry when you are not around. They have to make sure you are wherever they are. I love that. Your brother has already tried "carrying" you without my supervision. You weren't hurt, and I was only in the other room to get his milk, but I know NEVER to leave him alone with you even for a few seconds:) I can already tell you three will be the best of friends. Hayden is your little mother. She wants to hold you all the time and take care of you. She is great with you. Colt, on the other hand...let's just say you guys will be wrestling a lot and doing all those "boy" things. But he does love you.

You are a great eater and I believe that you will be bigger than your brother. You are around 9 pounds now but still in your newborn clothes...although you are almost too long for them. You eat every 2 hours...even during the night. That means your mommy isn't getting much sleep. That's ok though...I will catch up later. You are also having a hard time at night because you do not like being on your back. You prefer your stomach...which scares me to death! 

You are starting to get the hang of the pacifier...kind of. You rarely actually use it. That's ok with me. You take after your brother. 

You have been staying awake during the day more and are really starting to take in your surroundings. I could stare into your eyes all day if I could. They are beautiful. You have dimples on both cheeks, which are absolutely adorable. You are so close to smiling. I see you sometimes half smiling in your sleep and I melt every time. You also make the cutest noises in your sleep. It makes me wonder what you are dreaming about. 

You have been to many places in your first month and have met many people. Some of those places include daddy's softball tournaments/games, the mall, numerous restaurants and stores, your grandpa Minder's wedding, and many more places. 

I love you more than you will ever know, precious boy. I pray for you and your brother and sister everyday. Please never forget that. I am so blessed to be your mother and very thankful. 

Love you forever,

Your Mommy

Rough Night

It is about 11 pm on a Tuesday night. My precious Easton is laying on my chest...his favorite place...his only place of comfort lately. He is four weeks now. Can't believe it.
Tonight I am struggling. Hayden has been really acting out. I mean to the point where I told Nic tonight I just don't know how to handle her and I feel that what I do isn't enough to make her want to change. I know that it is a heart issue. I know that she needs to want to stop acting the way she does at times. I know she is only 3. But it is hard to watch and it is hard to control myself. When she does things deliberately, it makes me go crazy inside. I know that as a parent you fail at times...but I feel like I have been failing a lot lately. I feel like I am so hard on her. But the truth is, I just don't know how to handle it. Spanking doesn't work...time out doesn't work...yelling doesn't work...talking sternly doesn't work...talking in a calm voice doesn't work...sending her to her room doesn't work. I don't know what else to do.
Every morning I pray that God will give me the wisdom I need to handle situations that happen that day. I pray that I will be an example to my children. I pray that I will show grace for my children that God shows me. I pray that I will be a guide for my babies. But I fail.
Hayden has a beautiful soul. She is precious. I just don't know how to make her see that some of her actions and reactions are sinful and that is not how we act at certain times. Again, I know she is young, but I also want her to see that her actions have consequences.
Please don't get me wrong...,my Hayden girl is very sweet. She has a lot of love in her heart. I know her world has been changed when Easton came along. I just want to be able to help her....and in a way that is positive and pleasing to God.
Alright, it's late and Easton is actually sleeping...so I need to too:)

New Van, New Swim Class, Slow Down Life!

Life is feeling a little more normal as the days go by. I already feel like time is going too fast. My "newborn" is almost one month. How is that? I NEED time to slow down. I am trying to memorize every second and lock it away in my mind...but somehow my brain doesn't remember like it used to...that is why I need my blog...to record the things I can remember:)

Let's see...since last time I blogged, Easton has had his "2 week" appointment which was really when he was almost 3 weeks...and let me tell ya, the boy is growing just fine. He is up to 7 pounds 12 ounces already...holy moly. He is having no problem eating. We did have our first little scare with him though. A couple days before his appointment, I noticed a bump that looked like a huge pimple a little below his belly button. I called about it and they told me to keep an eye one it. That night it got really huge and then popped. I didn't really think anything of it since it looked a lot better once it popped. The morning after his appointment (Friday), he had another huge bump that looked the same as the first. When it popped, it looked worse...so I called again. They wanted to see him to do a culture. We found out that they found organisms, two of which were Ecoli (I don't know how to spell it!) and MRSA. I panicked right away. First, cause I didn't know what MRSA was, and second, because it just didn't sound good. He is now on antibiotics and I have to apply a cream every time I change his diaper. Prayerfully that will be good enough. Poor boy. He doesn't seemed bothered by it, so that is good. He is still a great baby and so laid back. Hayden and Colton have fallen in love with him and ask for him right away in the mornings. Colt even asks, "where is my baby Easton?" It is precious, I must say. He is still waking every 2 hours at night to eat, which makes one tired mamma. It's worth it, though. 

Today was a big day for Miss Hayden. It was her first swim lesson. She did such an awesome job. It was kind of a big deal since it is the first kind of lesson that she has been involved in. I was so proud of my girl. Shepard is a fabulous place. I was very impressed. They were singing songs like the ABC's while doing back floats and were rewarded with M&Ms. Every week has a different theme and this week was a "pirate" theme...so she received an eye patch at the end. She loved it. 

We were going to wait to start Colt, but after all the screaming and the disappointment from the little guy, we are going to start him next week. I pray that it is the right decision. I just worry about him listening to the teacher and not just jumping in every chance he has:) Crazy boy.
OH, and...we got a van!! We I have been wanting one for a long time because the pathfinder is just such a pain with the kids and I knew we needed the room. I am so thankful that we were able to get one and I know it is the perfect vehicle for us. God is good. The kids like it a lot as well and love the fact they can walk around in it!

That's all I have to share about for now...so here are some pictures from the last week...and yes, I am obsessed with taking pictures.

Another Tournament with Mom watching Daddy

Nic looking sexy driving the new van:)