Dream

I dream that one day my 2 babies will grow to know Jesus Christ as their Savior and live according to His Word.

I dream that one day I will see my name on the front cover of a book where the author’s name goes.

I dream that one day Nic and I will be able to pay for our children to go to college.

I dream that one day I will be able to travel around the world.

I dream that one day I will be able to take a full (I mean shampoo, conditioner, soap, and shave…legs and armpits) shower without any crying, or any children in the bathroom with me.

I dream that one day I will understand how to fully work my computer.

I dream that one day God will be able to use me in a powerful way.

I dream that one day my kids will look at me as a Godly example.

I dream that one day Nic and I will be able to watch our babies graduate from high school and then college.

I dream that one day that I will know for sure I will see each of my family members in heaven.

I dream that one day I will be able to return to the Dominican and spend time in the orphanages with my family.

I dream that one day I will be able to run a whole mile without walking…hmmm.

I dream that one day I will be brave enough to wax my eyebrows.

I dream that one day Nic and I will help our own children’s dreams come true.

I dream that one day my kids will walk in God’s will.

I dream that one day my husband will watch one full episode of I Love Lucy with me.

I dream that one day I will be enjoying life with my husband looking at a lake from our back porch.

I dream that one day Nic and I will not have to say “no” to our children’s dreams because of money.

I dream that one day we will have another child (Nic, I hope you are reading this!)

I dream that one day our little business will grow enough to help change our lives.

I dream that one day Nic and I will watch our children marry the man/woman God has made for them.

I dream that one day Nic and I will be surrounded by grandchildren.

I dream that one day Nic and I will grow old together, hand in hand.

What are your dreams?

I admit

I have a huge obsession with I Love Lucy. I have a massive collection of I Love Lucy items, such as blankets, tin lunch boxes, snow globes, purses, bags, dolls…which, sadly, is all in the attic waiting for a bigger house so I can have a room devoted to Lucy! I own every season and never fail to laugh OUT LOUD, even when I am by myself (which is most of the time) and I have seen every episode at least 10 times.

I hate to speak in front of people. Yes, I know, I was a teacher…but kids don’t know how to judge me yet! Anxiety over sweeps me every time I am in front of more than 5 people.

Storms make me want to pee my pants.

I sing to myself in front of the mirror with my brush while getting ready, after singing as loud as I can in the shower.

I have to do at least one load of laundry every day or I feel like a failure with my house chores.

I don’t like to be alone.

I am afraid of the dark. When Nic works late at night, I call him several times thinking that will keep all danger away from our house.

I don’t watch the news. It depresses me and if I don’t know what is going on then I can pretend nothing is wrong in the world.

I HAVE to see my parents at least 2 times a week.

I still strive to make my parents proud and never want to disappoint them…even though I am married and have 2 kids of my own.

I can’t watch scary movies. I will stay awake all night and wake Nic up when I can’t stand it anymore.

I love the smell of camp fires.

My eyebrows make me insecure….but I am afraid of the wax.

I have to sit on the end or in the back of church in case I need to escape. I feel trapped if I am in the middle.

I dream about being 2 inches taller. I pretend I haven’t had my growth spurt yet.

I only look at the pictures in magazines only to try to imagine having the life of the people in those pictures.

I love to look at pictures. It doesn’t matter whose pictures they are, I love to look at them. It gives me a glimpse of their life.

I strive to please people. Yes, I admit it.

I would rather write (blog) my thoughts and feelings rather than verbalize them. My communication skills aren’t quite the best.

Clowns freak me out. Maybe because the Joker has given me many nightmares.

I crave a FOUNTAIN diet coke any time of the day.

I could eat Hacienda for any meal, any day.

I have a love for organizing, which I have been lacking since the arrival of Mr. Colton Minder.

I still have clothes in my closet that I wore in high school and college. I always think I “might” need them someday…or fit back into them!

I love shopping…even when I can’t buy anything…even if it is Walmart.

I am obsessed with taking pictures of my babies for fear of missing a moment of their life.

I dread Nic reaching for the remote to turn the channel to ESPN.

I named one of my children after a little girl in a magazine and the other after a football player that I saw on the bottom of the TV screen.

I watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette…and the Bachelor Pad.

I have to make sure the house is locked at least 4 times and the garage door is down at least 7 times…even if I am about to leave the neighborhood and turn around just to see the white garage door down. I lock the car doors at least 5 times so I can hear the honk.

I love to read other people’s blogs…even people I don’t know. They are inspiring.

I am way over-protective of my babies.

I worry what people think of me…all the time…just ask Nic.

I can’t go to sleep at night mad. I will be awake all night worrying.

I would rather watch Full House, Who’s the Boss, Saved by the Bell, and I Love Lucy than any other comedy on TV.

I don’t like to shave my legs…I dread it…but don’t worry, I still shave…sometimes.

My friends and family mean the world to me. They inspire me, encourage me, make me laugh, tell me what’s up, and drive me to be a better person.

I can’t wear skinny jeans…I just can’t do it. When I go to heaven…I will be able to wear them…because my legs will be LONG and I won’t have to hem them…which is what I had to do will all my pants in high school…Kristen stole the rest of my legs…thanks.

I would love to write a book someday….someday. I don’t know what about or who about…but I will.

I cry before I go into the dentist office. I cry before (or during) I have to get a shot or blood drawn.

I play with my hair when I am nervous…or just whenever. I have had this habit since I had hair.

I can’t wear colored shirts somewhere that I think I will sweat…because I sweat like there’s no tomorrow…I think I received extra sweat glands when I came out of my mother’s womb.

I have no fashion sense and consider it a shopping trip when I get to pick something to wear out of my sister’s closet. I don’t even know how to do hair.

I would be lost without my phone.

I will do anything to see my kids smile…even if I am jumping up and down making loud, obnoxious noises. But when I see those smiles on those precious faces, my heart swells with pride.

I am extremely proud of my siblings, parents, and my husband…as if you couldn’t tell by talking to me!

I don’t like to play games…I don’t like to lose…which is what happens most of the time…especially to Steve Spivey.

I'm Back!

Seriously...has it been this long??? Yes, yes it has. Sad to say, we don't have internet at our house right now, which is really hurting my blogging...which is killing my stress relieving time...which is causing me to lay it all on my poor husband...which is making him really wanting to come to my parents so I can get on the internet to regurgitate all my feelings...which makes me feel a WHOLE lot better!

Anyways, it has been almost a week since my last blog. Good thing nothing TOO exciting happened! Hehe! I started my adventure in taking on some more kids in our household...which has kept me occupied for most of my days, running here and there, changing this diaper and that diaper, feeding baby after baby after toddler, jumping around and making funny faces just to see a smile. Our evenings have been made up of spending time with friends and learning more about the new adventure me and my husband are about to leap into.

Now, I am trying to keep everything together right now as we have spent the evening with my family since Sarah is leaving for college tomorrow. That's right, my baby sister is all grown up and is about to start a new chapter in her life...yeah, not ready for this. I will be sibling-less now and will have a HARD time with it....which means you will be hearing me (or reading) complain like no one's business. She isn't ready for this and shouldn't leave. Or maybe I am just not ready for this and want her to stay. But, I have to put on my big girl panties right now and have to be excited for her, which I am, but don't want to be right this second.

Now for the next piece of business...because of my new found revelation of being without any of siblings here in northern Indiana, I have been really thinking about what my family means to me...which has me thinking about the word 'friend'. My family has always been my best friends. They have always been there for me and has never turned their back on me...none of them. I always know that I have their support. You know that saying, "friends come and go, but family are forever?" Well, that has me thinking about what a true friend really is. I don't have many close friends...but the ones that I do have, have all these qualities...so here is what I believe a true friend is. Please add on if you feel the desire to.

A friend…

Loves at all times…during the good and the bad

Does not judge…but accepts

Listens with their ears….and gives advice when needed

Encourages you…not put you down

Rejoices with you…without jealousy

Keeps your secrets

Let’s you know when you are doing something wrong…but respectably

Stands by your side during difficult times…doesn’t walk away when times get tough

Laughs with you…not at you

Does not let the little things break your bond…but make that bond stronger

Is someone you can depend on…not have to second guess

Is someone you can trust…

Never gives up on you…but instead pushes for you and cheers you on

Comforts you…even just to lend a shoulder

Overlooks your not-so-great quirks…trust me, everyone has them

Respects you…not look down on you

Makes you smile…until your face hurts

Is loyal…someone you can count on

Cries when you cry…hurts when you hurt

Pushes you to be a better person…has your best in mind, not what can make them look better

Is honest…no matter the circumstance

Oh...by the way...my baby boy is now 4 months old...so here is my monthly letter for him:

Dear Colton,

Today you are 4 months old…blows my mind how fast this past month went. You are growing faster than I can breathe. You have changed so much this month. You are still the love bug you always have been. You are still quite content and so precious. Everyone comments about how much you smile and how happy you are. You wake up in the morning grinning ear to ear. You talk and coo ALL the time and love to giggle. You also love to move around. Your arms and legs constantly move and you are really learning how to hold onto your toys. You have been learning to take a bottle this month…which hasn’t been that easy. But you are getting better and better. But you still eat like a champ and only eat for about 5-10 minutes at a time. You have been sleeping through the night and still love to be swaddled.

You have gotten to do a lot this month, including 2 vacations. You had your first long car trip to Tennessee and your first plane trip to Arizona to meet your new cousin Rori. You did a wonderful job traveling and were a complete angel. You also went to your first movie-Ramona and Beezus. You watched the entire movie!

Colt, you are just so precious and I feel like all I want to do is hold you all the time and kiss your little cheeks. I am trying to remember every little change and every little moment.

I still pray for you every single day. I pray that God will keep you safe and help you grow into the little man He wants you to be. He holds you in His hands and loves you.

I love you my little old man.

Love,

Your Mommy

Boon Photo Shoot

Yesterday was another wonderful day of being lazy around the pool. Adam didn’t have to go to work so we were all able to be together all day. Then at night we went to PF Changs and enjoyed a delicious dinner and walked around the mall in Chandler. While we were there, us girls headed to look for sunglasses as the boys walked around with the strollers. While they were walking, two ladies stopped Nic and asked how old Hayden was and said they would like to use her in a photo shoot for a product line called Boon, Inc. He kind of thought it was a joke and there had to be a catch but the lady gave him a business card and asked for him to talk to me and call her as soon as possible. When we got home, we researched what Boon was all about. We talked and went back and forth on our decision. We always see those shows about how parents push their children into beauty competitions and contests and knew we never wanted to be those kind of parents who push their children into “modeling.” I knew this would just be a one-time thing and we just thought it would be fun for Hayden. We have seen some of these modernized items in different stores and thought we would give it a chance. We didn’t have anything to lose and didn’t have to spend a penny. So we called the designer and made an appointment.

Nic and I got up this morning and headed to Scottsdale where the shoot would take place. When we arrived, I had no idea what to expect. We walked in and were amazed. It was like we walked into a magazine….but then I thought…well duh…that’s what it was supposed to be like. They gave Hayden an outfit to wear and did her hair. She was very shy and didn’t really understand what was happening. I thought, “oh great, she isn’t going to even do this.” But…to my amazement…after getting used to the new environment, she was FABULOUS!

They put her in one of their high chairs and put a plate of food in front of her and all of the sudden she was smiling, making faces, and totally at home, forgetting all about the cameras and lights. Her pretend “dad” did a fabulous job with her and even let her feed him (after taking the food out of her mouth to put in his). All in all, it was a lot of fun and Hayden captured the hearts of the ladies working with her. They were super sweet and because Hayden did the shoot, she received many of the Boon products and got to keep her outfit. It was a total success!

We only have one more full day here with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece. I am dreading the good-bye, but am determined not to think about it right now.

My Growing Girl

At this moment, Hayden is pushing the pink music button on her Leapster that repeats the alphabet song at least 50 trillion times as she gets as huge smile on her face and yells “c” and points and swings her little pointer finger in the hair. Her brown, eyes light up the size of Texas and her body starts shaking from the excitement. Her golden blonde, curly hair hangs over her eyes because I haven’t had a chance to tame it yet. Her little mouth takes on the shape of a circle and her eye brown lift as high as they can go. Then she starts shaking her little bottom and swinging her arms and then starts clapping. This only affirms my overwhelming feelings from yesterday…,my baby girl is growing…TOO fast.

Yesterday I had a little “mom” breakdown and wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. Little Hayden and I got up extra early, as usual and went out to the pool to eat our breakfast and then take our morning swim. It was a little hard to feed her yogurt with her crazy hair covering her precious face, so I got a rubber band to pull it back. I noticed her hair was getting long enough to probably put in a little ponytail, so I thought I would try it. Low and behold it worked. However, I was not ready for the emotion that would take over when she turned around to look at me with her chocolate brown eyes.

It wasn’t the eyes of my “baby” anymore. It was the eyes of my growing toddler. It was the eyes of a little girl who is becoming more and more independent, which I am not totally ready for yet. It was the eyes of a precious spirit who is gaining her own personality.

My heart sunk as I realized that she is starting to need me less and less, and she is not even 2 yet. She doesn’t need to be held like a baby anymore. She has been rid of her bottles for almost a year. She doesn’t need me to “spoon” feed her anymore. She doesn’t need me to carry her everywhere, but instead walks, well…runs, on her own 2 feet. She understands everything we say, but decides on her own if she wants to listen to it. She has more energy than the average toddler. She is starting to talk and use her words instead of just throwing fits. Her big heart is evident when Rori or Colt cries and she wants to hug them to make their tears disappear.

I am not ready for all this change at once…at all. I know there will always be a part of her that will need her mom, but it is hard not knowing HOW much she will need me.

This trip has really opened my eyes to all these changes I am seeing in my little girl and while it is awesome to watch and be proud of, there is still a little piece of my heart that wants to hold on to the present and slow down time.

Maybe I am just having such a hard time with all this change because I see so much difference between Hayden and Colton in the way the “need” me. Will I ever be ready to watch my baby girl grow into a little lady?

I think the reason why I have been writing about her so much is because I don’t want to forget a single part of her childhood. I don’t my memories to fade. This so-called thing called parenting is just a little hard. And just when you think you are handling quite well, I am hit in the face with new emotions, new circumstances, new EVERYTHING!

On another note…we are continuing our fun here in Arizona. Yesterday we got to go to a Wildlife Zoo on the west side of Phoenix. Although it was extremely hot, we still had a great time. The highlight of the day was getting up close and personal to a young lion, a cheetah, and a black panther. Mom, Jamie, and Kristen took the babies inside a little café to cool down the babies while Nic tested how close he could get to a growling cheetah above his head with Sarah in his ear egging him on, Hayden and I ran up and down the aisle as a the lion chased us back and forth, and my father laughing at us. Hayden did a fabulous job and had a wonderful time. Hayden is now the darkest out of all of us…we realized this after changing her diaper and she escaped to run around the entire house with her little behind jiggling with all her freedom. We then went back to the house and relaxed the rest of the night with a dinner at home. Adam spent some time wrestling with Hayden and spinning her round and round until they both fell to the ground. We laughed, and laughed some more. We watched The Last Song and watched a storm roll in as we sat outside on the porch. The rest of the night consisted of ice cream and Friday Night Lights Season 4.

It is already a beautiful day here and is now 7:30 am. Hayden is itching to go back outside and play her little heart out.

Life Time Memories

So I am trying to soak up every second here in AZ with my family. Yes, it is crazy hot, but with the pool right outside our door, we have been able to keep cool and have lots of fun. Yesterday we were able to go to church with Adam and Rori and meet their church family. I always get nervous about going to new places, but the people here reached out to us and were so nice. The pastor spoke on Discipline, which is always so interesting. Nic really loved it since he tied it in with football and how we, as parents, are the groundskeeper, referee and coach.

From there we went back to the house and Dad and I went to the store to get some food while Adam and Nic took a ride on the bikes and the girls hung out at the house. Hayden has kept us on our toes and has kept us laughing with the way she is in the pool. Her new-found love is jumping off any height of ledge into the pool…sometimes without anyone being ready to catch her. Of course we are all keeping our eyes on her but she still somehow amazes us how ready we have to be at any given time. We have all had to take turns catching her since she wants to do it ALL day long. She has done very well with learning how to kick her legs in the water and blow bubbles. She still has no fear of the water…good thing or not so good? She has also learned new expressions, which have us all snickering. We just relaxed here at the house the rest of the day by reading (not me…I have kids), talking, laughing, laying around, swimming, and eating. Life can’t get better than that!

Once again, because of the time difference, we were all up by 7 am AZ time this morning. Mom was outside doing her Bible study so Hayden and I enjoyed breakfast outside by the pool. The breeze made it just the perfect temperature. I think we are starting to get used to the time difference, even Hayden. She has done well these past few days so I am thankful for that. Adam and Jamie came over once they got ready and so we just did a whole lot of what we did yesterday.

I can’t tell you what it means to just sit back and watch the ones that I love the most. Kristen has loved this time of NO STUDYING. She doesn’t have a single school book here with her. It is just so great to see her have no worries for a whole week. Adam has kept us entertained with his stories and his personality…hmm. It is breathtaking to see him and Jamie with their little girl. Sarah has kept us laughing with her random comments that sometimes we can’t believe come from little innocent Sarah. Jamie has been a lot of fun to be around and has encouraged me in ways I am sure she doesn’t even realize. Mom and Dad have been having the time of their lives (at least I like to think so) with their 3 grandchildren and watching them when Nic and I aren’t…oops! Nic has been our master chef and is quite the little house husband. And as for me….I am just taking everything in, trying not to forget a second from this trip.

As most of you know, when we return from this visit with my brother and sister-in-law, Sarah will be going off to college and Kristen will be going back to her crazy schedule of school and non-stop studying. Dad and Nic return to their long hour jobs. I start babysitting. Mom will be a mess from Sarah leaving and having no more kids in the house…but don’t worry mom….me and the kids are just 20 minutes away…HA!

Because I was 7 when Sarah was born, I have remembered most of her life. I acted as if I was the mother of her and wanted to take care of her in every way. I can’t believe she is finally old enough to be going to college…I can’t believe she will actually be on her own…I am not ready for this big change at all…and I am not even her mother.

Dear Sarah,

As hard as it to believe, you will be going off to college to start a new chapter of your life in just a few short months. You will be meeting new people, some even your lifelong friends. You will be challenged in ways you have never been before…spiritually, academically, emotionally, and sometimes even socially. You will be living in a new place.

I know the tears will come when the time comes…and I am not even your mother…but you are my baby sister. I have watched you grow into a beautiful, godly, young woman. I have watched you go through hard times and cried with you, whether it involved boys, friends, grades, or even if you were just having a hard day. I have watched you go through the good times and cheered for you, like when you were put on the Varsity squad or when you received one of your many awards. You have always been an encouragement to me and I pray that you keep that part of you to encourage those you come in contact with at school.

I will miss you. I will miss our chats. I will miss working out with you (well me attempting to work out with you)! I will miss just sitting and watching movies with you, even though you fell asleep within the first 10 minutes. I will miss your smile. Please know that I am always here for you. I am only a phone call away.

As you go through this next step of life, please remember something. God will always be by your side. Hold onto his hand and let him guide you. He is your strength. I know that you are scared because you have never been anywhere but Elkhart Christian Academy, but He is there. Please stay in the Word and hold on to all you have learned the past 18 years.

I cannot express in words how proud I am of you. Sometimes I feel that you are the older sister giving advice to me. You keep me on track and let me know when I am doing something I shouldn’t or opening my mouth before thinking (which happens more than I like to admit). Thank you for that. I love you, Sarah. Enjoy every second of your new chapter. It will be such an amazing experience and I hope you don’t take that for granted.

Your big sister,

Tori

Sweet Arizona

We are finally here in the great state of Arizona after an interesting start. I could barely hide my excitement to just get to AZ to meet my niece and see Adam and Jamie. I have never been out here to visit yet so as you can imagine I felt like a little girl all over again wanting to jump up and down and giggle till my stomach hurt. That excitement went a little downhill as we were on our way to the airport at 1:30 and my dad asked if we had Hayden’s birth certificate to prove that she was under 2 so she could sit on our lap. Umm….no…we didn’t…oops. At that point I thought, “oh great, I knew this was too good to be true. Now my family is going to all be together except for Nic, me, and the kids. As soon as we reached the airport, my dad and I ran in and asked some lady about it and she said we didn’t need one so we were safe. Yeah…she had NO idea what she was talking about. We headed down to the Allegiant line and waited. My dad finally just went around the line to ask, to which they answered, “She certainly does need a birth certificate.” Once again, my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach. However, my wonderful hero of a husband said he could make it back to our house in Elkhart, grab the certificate, and be back by the time we had to take off (which was 3:30). It was already 2 by this point.

So...we waited in anticipation at the airport, chasing Hayden around and being the entertainment for anyone within 20 feet from us. I kept asking my mom if she thought Nic would make it and she just kept reassuring me that he would. I wasn’t worried about him getting to the house and back, I was worried he would get pulled over!!! If you know Nic, he can really drive when he needs to. I kept calling him and in a calm voice he would tell me it was ok and he would make it.

Well, not only did he grab the birth certificate, he grabbed all of our passports, birth certificates, and social security cards….what a man! He didn’t want to take any chances! Needless to say, he made it with time to spare and he even went thought the Taco Bell drive through. So now my excitement level is back up to where it was to begin with and now all I want to do is blink my eyes and be in AZ.

I was VERY nervous about the plane ride for 2 reasons. 1. I hate flying. 2. I have 2 kids. Just from being in the little waiting room I could tell people were looking at us thinking to themselves, “I hope I am not near that crazy family!” Well, we proved them wrong! Colton was himself and didn’t cry one time. Hayden was crazy as ever, but with the help of 5 other adults, we kept her busy and none of us had any meltdowns…SUCCESS! Sarah kept her busy by playing with the Photo Booth on her computer, Kristen made funny faces with her, Nic walked up and down the aisle with her, she climbed all over me, mom, and dad, and then she finally fell asleep in the arms of her grandma. The 3 ½ hour plane ride was finally over and I was just minutes away from meeting Rori!

When we reached Jamie, Adam, and Rori, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on my baby niece…but Kristen beat me to it…that little stinker. I didn’t think it was fair because she has been an aunt before but I haven’t! Hehe! But I finally got my arms around that baby and couldn’t take my eyes off her! She is just so beautiful and has so much hair! She was so awake! She has gorgeous blue eyes and the cutest little nose. After I ooed and ahhed over Rori, we decided that we needed to get the luggage and the rental van as soon as possible due to a melting little girl who was starving and tired!

As soon as we got everything, we loaded up the cars and went straight to dinner. Now, I don’t know if you know this but there is a little difference in the time here…3 hours!!!!! I know that doesn’t seem like a great amount but to a 1 ½ year old that is like major! It was 7 pm our time and 4 AZ time, so we needed food fast! Adam and Jamie took us to a steakhouse called KEG….it was an amazing restaurant. It was beautiful and had AWESOME food! Jamie and I shared the Top Sirloin…I must say I haven’t had anything that good in a long time. I probably could have eaten a whole one by myself but I was a good girl and didn’t act like a pig. My husband, on the other hand, talked about his dinner ALL night. He couldn’t get over how tasty it was…what a silly guy!

We then set off to our house for the week. As we drove, I couldn’t take my eyes off the beautiful scenery outside the window. Off in the distance you could see the sun setting down on the mountains. The red, orange, and blue painted sky reminded me of God’s creative work. Then we pulled up to the house…OH MY GOODNESS! Can you say incredible?? Instead of going to a hotel, my dad rented a house for all of us to stay in complete with a hot tub, pool with cool fountains, a fire pit, a movie library, HUGE TVs, and 4 bedrooms. It was reaching 10 pm our time and Hayden wasn’t about to give up and lay down…I tried everything. The air conditioning wasn’t working right upstairs and in the 100% weather outside you could imagine how uncomfortable it was. We tried fans on Hayden, going out to the movie library and laying on the reclining chairs, and then finally ended up on the couch in the family room around 2 am…awesome. Oh but don’t worry, she was up bright and early this morning. Because everyone else in the house was sleeping except the kids, my dad, and me we took Hayden outside to the pool. I am telling you, this girl would live in the pool if we let her! I love watching her eyebrows go up and her mouth turn into an “o” shape when she plays in the water.

Beautiful Sunset

Movie Library

Our room

Because of the lack of sleep on my part, my wonderful mother made a nice, hot bubble bath for me to relax in while my dad and Kristen took Hayden to the store. What a great start to the day! And it is only 7:30 here!

"Light Bulb" Moment

“More children under four die of accidental poisonings at home than are accidentally killed with guns at home.” – National Safety Council

This is the quote that caught my eye as I was flipping through different brochures that were spread all over my family room floor. Because it caught my eye, out of curiosity, I decided to pick the brochure up and see what it was about. As I started reading it, I was shocked. The article talked about different kids, young kids, that have died due to being exposed to hazardous chemicals. To my disbelief, these hazardous chemicals came from house cleaners found around the house. A little boy died after swallowing 3 oz of hair conditioner. A 7 month old died after crawling through a puddle of spilled laundry bleach and gave him 3^rd degree burns. A little girl ate some dishwasher detergent that required many operations to reopen her scarred esophagus. Did you know that every year 5-10 million household poisonings are reported? I know I didn’t.

I know many of you think, well I keep those kinds of things out of reach from children and some of you don’t even have children. But for me, having 2 precious babies of my own, I was hit pretty hard from this. As soon as I read this, I ran to my bathroom and looked under the sink where I find Hayden at times if she somehow gets through the gate. There I found Clorox toilet bowl cleaner with bleach, Clorox wipes, shampoo, conditioner, Listerine, and hairspray. I couldn’t believe all of the hazardous chemicals that sat just under my sink in a place where my child could reach and could easily get into. I don’t even want to think about what could happen to my child if I accidently left one of those products in her reach. If you know Hayden, you know she is into EVERYTHING. She will do anything or try anything. That scares me to death. As I continued to read, I came across another quote: “Of chemicals commonly found in homes, 150 have been linked to allergies, birth defects, cancer, and psychological abnormalities.” –Consumer Product Safety Commission. Knowing that I have those items under my sink and throughout my house makes me stop and think- How can I change this or prevent a serious injury or possible death to one of my children or any child that comes into my home? Then it hit my-duh-to use products that are safe for my family, all of us, that work.

I then remembered my friend, Kara Sears, sharing with me how she uses a line of products from Shaklee. She said that Shaklee is always safe, it always works, and it is always green. Maybe you have heard of it, maybe you haven’t. We all want the best for our children and our family as a whole. We want to raise healthy kids and always do what is best for them. I know I do.

When I first heard about Shaklee, I was kind of skeptical because I have never used the products and I didn’t know if they actually worked. At the beginning of the summer, Kara had given me a couple of cleaning products just to try and use to see if I liked it. I spent a whole day deep cleaning my house and decided to use these different cleaning products. To my amazement, I absolutely LOVED it. I had tried every cleaning product on my shower door but nothing would clean off that hard water nasty stuff that was piled on it. Well, I tried some of Shaklee’s Scour Off. I was totally shocked when my shower door was sparkling clean after using it.

However, I just decided at the time to keep with my regular cleaning supplies and figured it would be just as easy. Not once did it cross my mind that those cleaning supplies could be so hazardous.

I am not on here trying to advertise these products, but I am trying to get your attention about what hazardous chemicals might be lingering around your house that maybe you haven’t even thought of. After reading the brochure, I decided to do some more research and learn more about Shaklee. Shaklee products have been around for over 50 years. They do thousands of tests on every single new ingredient to guarantee the purity and safety of each and every product. Every Shaklee product is 100% safe to use, guaranteed. Isn’t this what I want for my kids? If this is a product that works, which I know from experience it does, and it is safe, why wouldn’t I want to use it????

So…I realized I don’t have to worry about Hayden accidently getting under the bathroom sink or the kitchen sink or trying to find “safe” places for my cleaning products. All I have to do is a little change…actually a big one! I am excited to use the products knowing they can’t hurt my precious kiddos. Seriously…Hayden doesn’t need anymore reasons or ways to get hurt!

Aren’t you glad you read about my “light bulb” moment?!

Bitter-Sweet

Today when I woke up, I wasn’t sure how I was feeling. In recent years, today I would have been up at the crack of dawn and getting dressed in nice clothes. I would be rushing around to make sure every last thing is done and perfect for my new students. I would be putting a smile on my face, being nervous myself, watching all the new, precious, little faces entering their new classroom for the year. I would be reassuring parents that their child will be just fine and will have lots of fun. I would be trying to put the names that I have been praying for since I got my class list with the beautiful faces now overtaking my room. I would be watching “my” children introducing themselves and asking if they wanted to play. I would have a desk overflowing with school supplies and being totally overwhelmed. I would be trying to decide exactly what to do first to calm the chaos. I would be watching parents take pictures of their precious little ones on this special day as they try to fight back tears that want to overtake their emotions as well as striking a pose myself with the little ones which would go in their scrapbooks as a memory. I would be giving hugs to my students from recent years who would stop in to say “hi” as they started a new journey in a new classroom. I would be reciting my speech for the rules of the classroom over and over as many times as I could in one school day. I would be playing getting-to-know you games with my kids. I would be putting names on EVERY single school supply each student brought in and placing them in Ziploc bags and stashing them in their cubby for the year. I would be showing them how to raise their hand instead of speaking out, how to line up in straight lines, how to sit correctly in their seats so they don’t fall backwards, how to make a circle around my white rocking chair, how to put toys back on the shelf when they are finished playing with them, how to hang up jackets and backpacks on the correct hook. I would be teaching them my morning routine of praying, calendar, pledges, and morning worksheets. I would be trying to take in every single part of the day in hopes that by tomorrow I would be able to match every child with the right name. I would be observing the children as they play with each other and learn to share. This is what I would have been doing.

However, God had different plans for me. Today I didn’t wake up in eagerness to meet new students. I woke up to 2 of the most precious faces ever. I didn’t rush off to school to get everything ready for the day. Instead, I snuggled with my babies and changed diapers and watched cartoons. I didn’t watch students play with each other. Instead, I watched my babies play with their own toys. I didn’t reassure any parents that their child would be just fine. Instead, I wrestled with my daughter and tried reassuring myself that her attitude would change before lunch time. I didn’t teach my class the new morning routines. Instead, I did my own morning routine that I have been doing for the last 3 ½ months. I didn’t show students how to share toys and take turns. Instead, I showed Hayden how to share a basketball with her baby brother and how she could find a different toy to play with. I didn’t receive hugs from former students. Instead, I received hugs around the neck from my baby girl.

Although this was a bitter sweet morning, Life couldn’t be better than this. I know I am doing what God wants me to be doing and I feel blessed that I could be here with my own kids. I am thankful for where I am. This is what I always dreamed of, but I know I will always be a teacher at heart.

Home Already?

Well, I can’t believe I am already sitting back in my living room after a wonderful vacation. It seems like just yesterday I was counting the days that I would get to see my husband ALL day long for 7 days without any work interrupting our time together. And now it is already over. That whole saying that says “time flies by when you are having fun” is probably the truest thing right now. Yes, it is great to be home and back to a routine with the babies, but I already miss our time in Tennessee. We were supposed to stop at a hotel tonight and ride the rest of the way home tomorrow, but the kids were doing such a WONDERFUL time in the car we just decided to head all the way home.

I hadn’t had much time to write about the rest of our trip since last post, so I thought now is a good time to do so. Hayden is sleeping, Colton is swinging away, and Nic is mowing our too tall grass. The last two days of our vacation were actually my favorite days…they were relaxing and we didn’t HAVE to do anything. Nic and I toured a time share at Westgate Thursday morning so we receive free tickets to the Aquarium and a day’s pass for all of us to their indoor water park. So on Friday, we went to the indoor water park as soon as it opened. This place is AMAZING. The kids had a blast and it was so fun to watch them. It is amazing to watch how Hayden can interact now and be so involved compared to last year when we went to Tennessee. She was able to go down little water slides, go on a river raft with daddy, and many other things. Needless to say, the kids were quite worn out and Hayden fell asleep as soon as we got to the car. In the evening, we used our tickets to the Aquarium and spent about 3 hours looking at fish, penguins, sting rays, and many other ocean life. Hayden had the time of her life here. My grandma has that screen saver where the fish swim all over the screen and Hayden will just sit and watch it for a long time. So, when she got to see it in real life, she went crazy! There were tunnels that the kids could go under and be surrounded by fish….this was Hayden’s favorite! The best part about the whole night was that I didn’t have to watch her every move and chase her around….anywhere she went I knew she couldn’t hurt anything and she actually stayed close by us.

Last year we found this little petting zoo that we fell in love with. So, we went there again on Saturday. Once again, Hayden was in heaven. She absolutely loved being able to pet all different kinds of animals and feed them. Her favorite was the goats. She was able to go into the pen with them and chase them around. She would hug them and try kissing them. She even attempted to pick one up! Another highlight of the day was when she got to ride a real horse for the first time! I am telling you, there is nothing like watching your little girl smile and giggle and have the time of her life. Another thing we have done before is go to Sweet Fanny Adams Theatre. We had free tickets to the Saturday night showing. I was a little nervous about how Hayden would do during a 1 ½ hour show, but she sat on Nic like a little angel and watched the ENTIRE show. She was so intrigued by the different skits!

All-in-all we had a great trip with lots of laughs and memories. I think I took a little too many pictures, but I couldn’t stop! I know Hayden and Colton will never remember this trip, but I will remember it as along as I live.

Thank you Nic for making our trip so special. You are an amazing father, husband, and best friend.

Thank you Anita and Mike for letting us go with you and sharing your time share with us! You both are such giving and awesome people!

You May or May Not

There have been so many people having babies lately and I feel it is my duty to maybe give some insight of what you might experience after you have your baby. Anita and I have been talking, and we have decided that every one and every book tells you what to expect DURING my pregnancy, but no one told us what to expect right AFTER pregnancy. This isn’t to frighten anyone from having babies, but it is just some things that I didn’t know was normal and I thought it was the end of my life. I thought I was on my own…but after talking to other moms, I know I wasn’t.

You May or May Not: What to Expect AFTER Birth!

You may or may not kiss your baby even if he/she is all grimy when you see him/her after your final push.

You may or may not think you are absolutely dying right after birth…don’t worry, it is just from pushing for so stinkin’ long.

You may or may not have to lay there with your legs wide open for an hour getting stitched up from tearing from the big head of your new beautiful baby…don’t worry, they will put your legs back together.

You may or may not feel so exhausted you can’t lift your hands…don’t worry, you will do anything to hold your new baby.

You may or may not be scared out of your mind when you realize your baby’s head is completely lopsided from the birth canal…don’t worry, it will go back to normal and you will still think he/she is the most beautiful sight.

You may or may not be swollen in places you didn’t know was possible to be swollen…don’t worry, your body parts will go back to normal size…maybe.

You may or may not feel like if the nurse pushes on your stomach one more time to check your uterus that it just might come out…don’t worry, they will stop soon.

You may or may not feel like you are in labor all over again when you first start to nurse…don’t worry, this goes away after awhile.

You may or may not get confused with all the tubes coming out of you and what does what…don’t worry, just don’t mess with them.

You may or may not lose all modesty when about 30 nurses see every part of you and have to assist you to the bathroom because you have no control over what comes out for awhile…don’t worry, this makes you humble.

You may or may not look in the mirror for the first time after birth and realize that your belly that used to hold your sweet baby has turned into complete flab…don’t worry, your stomach will never be the same anyway!

You may or may not laugh your head off when you see the mesh panties and the biggest pads you have every seen…don’t worry, they are for you to wear…and they are very comfy!

You may or may not get confused with all the creams and sprays to use for when you go to the bathroom…don’t worry, all you have to remember is not to mix them!!

You may or may not be in complete agony when you are nursing your sweet baby and he/she decides to turn their head, with your boob still in his/her mouth…don’t worry…this gets better.

You may or may not feel like you gained an extra 50 pounds in your boobs when your milk comes in…don’t worry, you just have to get used to it!

You may or may not squirt your baby in the face when he/she decides to detach when you aren’t ready to be done…don’t worry, they don’t mind.

You may or may not feel like you are being ripped apart when you actually have your first bowel movement…don’t worry, this may take some time.

You may or may not feel like your insides are coming out when feeling returns to your lower half and you want to stand up…don’t worry, nothing will come out.

You may or may not get rest due to checking your baby’s chest to make sure it is going up and down…don’t worry, you will eventually call the nurse to take him/her so you can get a couple hours of sleep.

You may or not be completely embarrassed to even look at your husband after everything that he has just witnessed…don’t worry, he will still love you and still find you attractive, somehow.

You WILL feel an automatic bonding the first time your skin touches your baby’s skin.

You WILL feel a love that you didn’t know was possible.

You WILL feel like you can’t take your eyes off your new baby and all you want to do is memorize every body feature and every sound.

You WILL feel like everything that you have gone through in the previous hours is completely worth it and you will do it all over again.

You WILL feel like you will do whatever it takes to protect your precious baby.

You WILL feel like your baby is the most beautiful baby in the entire world.

You WILL be thanking God for the most wonderful blessing.

If you have anything you would like to add to this list…please do!

Oh Sweet Tennessee!

Monday:

Well, we are finally here in Gatlinburg after a LONG car ride with 4 kids. Nic and Mike had a bright idea to ride their motorcycles and that left me and Anita with a 14 week-old, 8 week-old, 5 year-old, and a 21 month old. It actually wasn’t too bad, but we like to make the guys feel a little guilty! We stopped Saturday night about 6 hours of driving and stayed at a hotel. We got up extra early (thanks to Mike!) on Sunday morning and drove the last 2 ½ hours to our hotel.

We couldn’t check in right away so we walked down the street to a little Mexican restaurant, which was so delicious! We did a little driving around and then were able to check in. Let me tell you, this place is absolutely beautiful. We are on the 10^th floor and have an amazing view of the mountains from our balcony. There are 2 bedrooms in here, a kitchen, an eating area, and a family room with a fireplace. And the best part is…there isn’t much Hayden can get into! Except we have had to rescue her from climbing and walking on the tables and the bar stools. Brea has been a great help with keeping her busy. Back to the day…for dinner the boys went to the store and got chicken while us girls and the babies attempted taking a much needed nap. When the boys got back, they took the girls down to the pool and grill the chicken. We had an excellent dinner and then hit the sack…early. Just what we all needed!

We were all able to sleep in, which was AWESOME! We then started out to Dollywood where we spend most of the day. It was SO hot, but so fun to watch the girls laugh and smile. Although we weren’t able to do much with the 2 babies and and Hayden, we still found some things to do. Hayden was able to go on a little car ride with her daddy, run through water shooting pad thing, ride on the carousel with her grandpa (by the way, we met up with Nic’s dad and his brother and his family, and his grandparents!), and even got to ride the same ride many different times with her daddy, grandpa, and Uncle John. My heart melt every time I saw her with her beautiful smile. The only thing that stinks is she won’t ever remember this vacation. Oh well! We were all pretty worn out, so we left, went to Walmart for the rest of our groceries, and went back to the hotel…Hayden fell asleep before we even got out of the Dollywood parking lot and slept through grocery shopping...which means she was completely out of it! The boys wanted to grill pork chops so I took Brea and Hayden to swim and Anita stayed with the baby boys. Can I just tell you Hayden is NOT afraid to just walk off the side of the pool?? She absolutely loved jumping from the side of the pool to me, even when I wasn’t ready. She is CRAZY!! But I love her like crazy! We then ate another great meal and called it a night! So far, so good! I love it here and am so happy and grateful to be here with my little family!

Tuesday:

Well, it was another H-O-T day here in Gatlinburg. I have a feeling we won’t come back here during August! We are having a blast…but it is almost too hot to be outside. Actually, it is too hot!

Today Nic faced his fears of helicopters. He was a brave old soul and went with Mike and Brea. It was a 2 minute ride, but I think that was more than enough for my man…and his pants were still dry when he got off! Anita, the kids, and I waited as patiently as we could knowing that as soon as they were done we got to go SHOPPING!!! There is this outlet mall called Tanger Outlets that Nic and I go to every time we are here…there are soooo many stores and of course I am just in heaven. Knowing we were limited on our spending, we knew (well, I knew) we wanted to go to Carter’s to get the kids some clothes for fall and winter with our coupon. Nic was so excited because they have added an Under Armor store. Oh the things that he gets excited for! All in all our little shopping spree was a success…and I was a good girl and didn’t get anything for myself…haha! I was so proud of myself.

In the evening, we all set off for a little cookout with Jack, grandma and grandpa Minder, John, Jenn, and their family. It was so nice to visit with family that we don’t get to see much at all. We shared lots of food, laughs, and talk. I wished we all lived closer!

I am praying that tomorrow is a little cooler so we can actually walk down the street and not be dripping in sweat. I am pretty sure Hayden’s hair has been drenched in sweat since we arrived!

On a total other note…can I just say that parenting can be very hard sometimes and very stressful? I know all you mothers out there know what I mean…especially my mother (by the way mom, when you said you prayed I would have a little girl just like me, I thought you were joking)! This trip has been wonderful, but there are times where we are in public and Hayden is just throwing the biggest fit and people are watching me like a fly wondering what I am going to do about it. This is what I want to do-crawl in a ball and cry and pretend this isn’t happening. For example, we were walking the strip tonight and Hayden was in the stroller and Bubby was in the carrier. We were thirsty so we stood in line to get a drink. All the sudden Hayden wanted out of her stroller and threw the biggest fit ever when I put her back in. She was screaming so loud and kicking her legs. I looked at Nic because in that instant I had NO clue what to do. People were staring and I could feel my face getting hot and red. So I said a quick prayer, took her outside the restaurant, and got down to her level. I knew I had to make a choice on how to handle this but I didn’t know how. I knew it was past her bedtime, she was hot, and she was tired. When I looked into her eyes with tears overflowing, I started to cry. I just looked at her for what seemed like an eternity asking God for words to say that would correct her. Before I could say anything, she reached her arms around my neck, still crying, and started playing with my hair. I had forgotten that I put my hair up in a ponytail and she loves to play with it. So I just held her. I know I should have probably spanked her or something like that or said a speech, but I didn’t. Needless to say, we knew it was time to head back and put her to bed. We did just that.

Nic has been such a rock for me these last couple of days and keeping me glued together, which I am so thankful for.

I know this doesn’t make much sense, but it just a struggle of mine lately. I have been asking God for wisdom in each circumstance that we have to deal with. It is just hard…this thing called parenting.