Preschool Blues

This week has been one of the most challenging weeks since becoming a parent. As I mentioned last week, Hayden started preschool. She loved it...last week.

This week was a total diffferent story. Because of starting to sub, I had her go all day Monday to get used to it and because I was available if need be. I wanted to test it out. Bad idea. From Monday evening until Wednesday evening she cried. She whined. She begged not to go back. NONSTOP. Everyone told me to expect this and that it is completely normal. So I didn't think much of it. However, the crying didn't just start in the morning and end. The teacher said she cried several times during the day and at one point she had to go to the office because she was crying so loudly she was being disruptive. Then she would continue the crying all through the evening and until she fell asleep at night. I would have to peel her off me in the morning and had to leave her just crying. She kept saying, "I don't want to go to school. Please don't make me go. Are you coming back?" And she would repeat that for HOURS. I am not exaggerating...ask my mom. No matter what I said or did, she would just repeat herself. I know that her teacher is just amazing and I know that they care so much for her. It isn't like they are being mean or she is being punished. It has completely broken my heart to see my daughter like this. I finally asked her on Wednesday why she didn't want to go. She said, "I am afraid you aren't coming back. I don't want you to go to work. I want you to stay home with me and we can be together. I worry about you." Talk about being speechless. Now, I could understand if I had forgotten her somewhere at sometime or have been late, but that isn't the case. I have never forgotten her anywhere. 

I don't understand. I mean, I know this is new to her. It is a very big change. I thought I was doing the right thing. She loved it so much last week. I know that some days will be difficult and I know that there will be days that there will be a little bit of fighting over going. I remember that from teaching. But I never imagined it would be like this. This isn't normal. It isn't normal that a 4 year old would cry day and night just about preschool. That's all she thinks about.  I worked last year, but she was always with family or someone else that was at our house. 

Do I give it more time? Should we just do half day? This is a lot for her. I don't want to traumatize her. Have I mentioned being a parent is hard? 

It just kills me to see her SO upset. It is heartbreaking. Has anyone else had to go through this?