Tonight I come to you prayer. The last time I wrote I was encouraged and thought we were on the upside with the whole Hayden/preschool thing. I couldn't have been more wrong. It has gotten out of control. It has come to us having to literally wrestle her in the mornings to get her dressed. Today she tore her shirt. I had to sit on her and hold her arms down so she wouldn't hit and get her pants on. People, this is not just a "not morning person" problem. The look in her eyes and the strength that she has during these times is unreal. It's scary.
When we get to school I have to constrain her and carry her in. The other day as soon as I let her down she bolted screaming at the top of her lungs. People look at her and think, "man, she needs a good spanking." I brought her home today instead of leaving her at school. I can't do it anymore. It's been a month.
When I talked to the director she mentioned that the other day while she was holding Hayden trying to calm her down that she was shaking very badly. She said this goes further than just "getting used to school."
It goes so much deeper and we are at a loss. I have no idea where this anxiety has come from, but I am telling you...no 4 year old should have this much anxiety over preschool. I don't know where this fear is coming from.
As a parent, this is unbelievably hard to watch your child go through. I have NO idea where to go from here. I don't know how to help her. We talk it through, but it just gets her all worked up.The mention of school make her go into some ballistic fit.
It has not branched out to Sunday School, Bible study, and even just when Nic and I go out tto eat by ourselves. We have to come home early because she just doesn't settle down. She just keeps asking if I am coming back. Last night I went to go work out and I put the kids in the little nursery thing like I always do...Hayden went into panick mode and literally would not let go of me. The worker had to hold her while I walked out of the room. I was early so I sat outside of the room on a bench and listened to her scream for 10 minutes. A couple sitting next to me started talking about her and how the worker was probably losing her mind. I got up and went in to get my kids and left. I am TIRED of the people watching and judging through this whole thing. They have absolutely NO idea what this little girl is going through. It is not just some bratty kid throwing a fit.
It's to the point where I am just worn out emotionally and physically. It has worn Nic and I to the bone and we need help so we can help her.
It tears me apart watching my daughter like this. I just want to be able to tell her it is ok. She doesn't have to worry. But I dont know how to get her to believe me.
I called a friend today to see if she knew someone that could be of help...someone who could help us help her and getthis figured out. She is too young to have anxiety like this.
Please pray for wisdom for NIc and I and peace for my baby girl. We need an answer.
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